Anyone testified against their ex for sexual assault?

[ChelseaBun]

I would really like to hear from anyone who has had to be cross examined by a defence barrister in a rape/sexual assault trial. This happened to me last year and the trial is due to take place early next year.

I need to be careful I don't identify myself or him in case I prejudice the trial.
I had physical injuries - bruising - on head and body and the police say it's a strong case.

But I'm terrified of what his defence lawyer will bring up about my past.

We were together 4 years and he pleaded guilty to a previous violent assault in 2011.
I hope you are able to give me some idea of what I will have to go through in court. I'm prepared to be called a liar and our sex life to be picked over with a fine toothcomb.
But there are things from my past that I'm sure my ex will bring up. These are not logged anywhere with the doctor - it's just stuff I told him in good faith.

I believe you

Ah that's sweet Yoni.

Good luck. Wish I had the courage for court but at the time didn't feel I could go through with it due to pressure. You are doing a brave thing and if I could live my life again, I hope I could do the same.

AllTwerk, there have been many times I have wanted to pull out and make it all go away. There is still part of me that can't bear the idea of seeing the man I loved for four years go to prison - maybe for 7 years.

If it had been a stranger in the street, I wouldn't have these mixed emotions, it would be so straightforward and I'd want him banged up for life.

summerbreezer I understood that the remarks were made while sentencing.

Are you really saying that the prosecution barrister & the judge thought up 'predatory' & 'sexually experienced' in the sentencing and the court heard nothing of the complainant's sexual history during the trial? How would they even know?

ChelseaBun - I wouldn't give any more details on here - just in case someone recognises you. (I really don't mean to shut you up at all). I'm sure I can't be of any help as my case was a long time ago now & the laws have changed, but feel free to PM me. x

Twinkestein you're probably right although I have changed certain details to avoid that. A lovely lady has private messaged me and summerbreezer says I can message him/her and now you so I will take any more questions I have off thread.

Thanks for all your messages people.

Good luck, OP.

Twinklestein - there was no trial. The man pleaded guilty. The girl in question never had to give evidence.

I really really do not want to get into the rights and wrongs of that scenario on someone else's thread.

My concern with comments such as yours is that it gives a misleading impression based on newspaper reports from an isolated case.

i want those who may wish to report sensitive matters to the police to be correctly informed.

I have had a couple of messages from people asking for information and am happy to assist anyone by PM in any way I can.

Not had this precise experience, but I have been cross-examined and I say:

-think about the question carefully, be clear and don't feel you have to keep talking or fill a silence, just say your answer then wait for the next question;
-answer in your own time;
-don't be apologetic eg if you can't remember;
-tell the truth, don't worry about how anyone else might feel about your answers, just concentrate on accuracy;
-forget everything and everyone else in the courtroom except the barrister and the jury. If the barrister is off-putting, look at the jury when you answer;
-let your rage spur you on;
-have someone to hug at the end of every court session and when it's over.

Good luck

I'm with you now summerbreezer. The full sentencing remarks were not available, only the media reports.

I really hope that everything has changed in the last 7 years as regards use of sexual history.

I wish you the best of luck with the trial OP. And just remember - you are not on trial - even though it may feel like it.

Thank you Eldritch.

No problem.

Good luck when the time comes, ChelseaBun. I believe you too. It may be worth visualising a vast number of MNers sitting on your shoulders chorusing "we believe you", cheering you on and holding your hand, when it's all going on. We'll be with you in spirit doing that.

You are very brave.

And Eldritch peeping out from behind you to flick Vs at the barrister doing the cross-examination.