Free from the FOG (for a bit)

[DeckSwabber]

I am going through a transitional time with my family. People getting older, roles changing, responsibilities shifting.

Some of my family are being difficult.

So glad that I took time out for myself in the past to resolve some difficult things in my life. I feel on solid ground. I feel I know where the 'line' is. I feel that I'm making my own choices.

Hurray!

[probably be back in here in a heap within a week]

Well done, I am fighting with this at the moment and although it can be difficult in the face of some family, I am feeling stronger every day. Starting to feel normal. Stay strong!!

Happy I have just been accused of trying to 'split up the family', having been the only one to step up when something needed to be done.

A few months ago I'd have been very upset. This time I just told my accuser they that I was doing my best in difficult circumstances to keep everyone consulted and involved and that comments like that were at best unhelpful.

It bothered me, but I FINALLY recognised that my family rely on Fear, Obligation and Guilt to manipulate people. I have decided this doesn't work for me.

This is all quite new to me (this latest feeling) but it sounds like that is good progress for you.

These things start in the cradle. You grow up with it as 'normal'. That's why its so difficult to see it and to break free.

The trouble is that when its family, just not seeing people and not engaging at all is usually too drastic. There are people I'd happily not see again but to make that explicit would cause a massive ruck with people I do care about.