Think I'm going to give up trying to have friends, I'm clearly not very good at this friends malarkey!

[rooobarbb]

I am just crap at having friends. I'm not an unlikeable person and have plenty of 'friends' and people to chat to, but people never seem to like me quite enough to consider me a close friend, or to include me in things, and I also often end up being treated badly by people that are my friends. I think I'm just 'there'. Always on the outside.

I see people on Facebook having birthday weekends away 'with the girls' or going on nights out and I think heck, how do they do it? I find it difficult enough to get someone to meet me for a half hour coffee, and even then whoever it is usually cancels and/or forgets.

I become friends with people who then decide to treat me badly, or I think someone is a close friend and they then go and do something that makes me think that I value them far more than they value me, and I just feel like a total and utter mug for listening to their problems/doing them favours/being there for them. Other people seem to have so much support from friends, with people rallying to help them in times of crisis, but I've had a really hard time in the past year and none of my so-called friends have been there for me.

Don't get me wrong, I don't want to be the sun, moon and stars to every friend I have, but a bit of reciprocal love would be nice. Again, on the dreaded facebook I see friends all saying to each other how great each other is and how much they adore each other, and how beautiful they are, but no one ever says anything nice to me.

Sorry if this sounds like woe is me, but I really feel fed up :(

I feel exactly the same OP, I could have written your post myself.

I have had a really shit year friend-wise. My best friend moved to America in January and we just email now, it's rubbish.

I am not good at the Facebook butt-kissing that you see all the time, it seems so fake. Of course it's nice if a friend is being taken out for dinner but I don't feel the need to say "you deserve it hun, you work soooo hard. Love you xxx".

I enjoy my own company though and feel claustrophobic if I have to constantly be texting or meeting up.

I really identify with the OP too. I seem to have lovely acquaintances, I can happily chat to new people and so on but no real friends. However, when I hear about people having a "girls" night or whatever or a birthday party surrounded by their friends, I wonder about who I would invite! I recently celebrated a milestone birthday with just my DP and DD. I enjoyed it but felt a bit sad I had no friends to invite!
I work FT (longish hours) and the rest of the time is spent with DD/DP or doing housework/cleaning etc. I have moved about the UK a bit with jobs and people never seem to follow up when they say they will keep in touch. I have tried to organise a get together with nice new people from a language class I am doing but everyone is always so busy.
I did not make any new mummy friends as I was very unwell after DD was born (severe PND) and once better, had to go straight back to work for financial reasons. I feel the lack of time to nurture friendships now makes it hard.

Ladyface, I agree about the (to me) OTT lovey dovey claustrophobic part..I have never enjoyed being in a "girly gang" at all and am quite happy say, shopping, on my own. I do enjoy chats with small groups of friends though.

Ditto.

I feel the same OP. Atleast take comfort that you have had a lot if posts on this thread, from women who feel just like you.