Snooping on FB/cheating

[Usernamegone]

I have NC'd for this. Things have gone from bad to worse in my current relationship over the past 6 months.

Whilst my OH was away for the weekend I went to log onto FB but he hadn't logged out. As his behaviour has deteriorated recently I could not resist the urge to snoop in his messages (I have never snooped before) and he has been messaging another woman (who lives far far away). It went some thing along the lines of -

OW - Can you talk?
OH - No
OW - Is usernamegone there?
OH - Yes

I quickly left Facebook with the intention of going back later as I didn't want his friends to see he was 'online', but later he was logged out.

It makes me suspicious and want to find out what he couldn't possibly talk about with the OW whilst on his laptop in the spare room with the door closed at 11pm.

In his internet history he had been video chatting with various women on a chat porn website.

I feel sick.

Is there any way of putting a program on the laptop that will record his keystrokes, without him knowing something has been downloaded?

Why do you even need to OP? Surely his behaviour towards you is enough to end this relationship. Why prolong the inevitable and get even more hurt in the process?

You already have the evidence you need. Don't you?

I used a keystroke logger called Elite, ( I think), it was about 50us dollars. Be prepared for seeing and reading stuff that will make you sick, but it helped me as I have taken screenshots of everything, as he just denies denies denies and makes me out to be crazy. At least I have evidence that no I am not crazy and he is a lying prick.
Good luck, I am sorry if you see further crap.

At the moment I am sorting out all my stuff (passport, etc) should I need to leave the house suddenly. OH has never been violent but I am worried one day he will be and is emotionally and financially abusive.

I have tried to discuss things with him and even suggested we attend counselling but as far he is concerned he is perfect and our relationship is.

I don't need proof that he is cheating, but I kind of wanted it as then things will be very clear cut. When you meet him he is very polite, charming, attentive, etc. Therefore, I am worried everyone (family and friends) will think I'm mad when I leave him.

I think it is clear my self esteem has been ground away to nothing.

OH has never been violent but I am worried one day he will be and is emotionally and financially abusive.
Are you married to this man?
What is actually keeping you there?
What does he bring the relationship?
Does he love and respect you?

should I need to leave the house suddenly.
From what you have written, it's now time!!!!

It is very clear that your confidence is shattered because you've got more than enough evidence. Looking for more is just a delaying tactic. Take your stuff, get out and if your family think you're nuts... so what? What's it got to do with any of them? 'I ended it for very good reasons' is all you need to say.

I am guessing he is a partner not husband.

Are you OK job and money wise?

Have you got somewhere to go?

You don't deserve this kind of disrespect. Let him take his ishoooos and hurt someone else.