He's living with the ow.

[downtroddendora]

I feel as though my heart has been pulled through a barbed wire fence.
How the hell do they do it it makes me feel sick i found out about the ow 3 months ago after they were sleeping together for 10 months it almost killed me i have got better but now this has just sent me reelung again. He told me he wasn't goin back there (i didn't believe him) but then i find out hes living there its pissing me off no end and hurting even more now how the hell do i cope? Or even get over this?

If you've separated (I'm assuming it finished 3 months ago) you have to do everything you can to forge a new life for yourself and put him in the past. Of course it hurts to find out you've been replaced but there's sod all you can do about it except look after yourself, be with people that make you happy, try not to dwell on what he's doing and stay busy until the pain wears off.

Yes we seperated when i found out it was on the cards before i found out.

I don't know weather i'm hurt or angry maybe both as me and dcs are really struggling atm with everything and i see as a new betrayl as hes living rent free while i can just about pay the rent.

It's very difficult when the ex appears to be moving on with his life and having a fabulous time of it while you are the one suffering, stuck at home, struggling to make ends meet. No justice is there? Certainly no 'Karma'. I know how frustrating that is.

Have you taken legal advice? Should he be paying more maintenance for the DCs? Have you anything nice on the horizon that will divert you from constantly comparing your life with his?

It might look all rosy for him at the moment but it won't last.
OW will never truly trust him - he did it to you easy enough, he could do it to her. That will be a nagging doubt in the back of her mind constantly.
Make sure you are getting all you are entitled to financially. You shouldn't be struggling. How come he is living rent free? Is he living off her? That won't last.
Concentrate on you now. Make sure he has regular time with the dc and use that time to pamper yourself, go out with friends, basically fake it till you make it and one day you will look at him and wonder what you ever saw in him!!

Yeah but he might be living with her out of necessity rather than choice, and as has been said, look how they met, they will always have that over them, not a good start to a long term relationship. Keep busy as much as you can, sounds simple but honestly, it does work. Sorry this has happened to you, you will however be glad in the future when you look back.

My stbxh moved in with the OW a few months before telling me it was over (he was working away). 18 mths on he is still claiming that he doesn't live with her but I'm the only one he maintains this pretence with.

It was difficult at first but now I just see history repeating itself as he cocklodged with me and is seemingly doing the same to her. I'm almost grateful to her for ridding me of him. Push to get all the support you should be getting from him financially.

She will always have at the back of her mind a little voice suggesting that he might do the same to her. You are better off without him and it will get easier in time.