Are crushes really bad?

[SlimSlow]

I'm happily married with children but get crushes. Sometimes on celebs but mostly on people I know in real life.

I get a bit 'on heat' in the middle of my cycle when I assume I am ovulating and have thoughts about men who wouldn't normally be on my radar. LOL.

I have two or three crushes on the go - proper schoolgirl stuff like get a bit hot and bothered if they're around, have little fantasies etc.

I would never (and have never in many, many years) act on these silly crushes. I quite enjoy them. I wouldn't be surprised or mind if my DH has crushes on females in his life, but as long as he comes home to me, I'm happy.

Is this bad?

Not at all. You're married, not dead. Enjoy it.

I also start considering men I never previously noticed when I'm ovulating. I don't stray and I don't feel too bad about it!

Very happy with DH and have a pretty good sex life.

Just feel a little guilty sometimes when I have a daydream about someone else! Would never act on it - and usually get a crush on someone very unattainable i.e. not single male friends or anything.

God, no! A good crush can brighten up the day quite a bit. And they shouldn't be acted on generally - nothing like reality to spoil a good daydream.

I have a huge crush on Pharrel Williams. Im single...that means I havr a chance right???!!!!!

No, as long as they don't become so all consuming that you become distant from or crabby towards your real partner. And of course if you don't act on them, even mildly.

If you dont have a dp you can live in a permanent state of dillusion!

If you dont have a dp you can live in a permanent state of dillusion!

Nah, I've always done this, mostly with hot unattainable men off the tele (think Supernatural!).

When you say meditrina - 'even mildly', what would you class as that?

I do put on nice makeup and clothes when I'm around a crush, and try to sound all intelligent and witty (and usually end up sounding stupid and titty).

Oh please give yourself a break, I'm sure lusting over someone on the TV is more than harmless everyone does it what goes on in your head is your own private kingdom!

I'm really delighted with the responses. It's always been my guilty secret!

I was sure everyone would tell me it was emotional infidelity, and that if I was thinking about others there must be something wrong with my relationship, etc.

I mean that the essence of a crush (ie some harmless daydreaming) is that it says in your head. You don't engineer contact with the person, you don't make even the tiniest risque comment, you do nothing that tips it into librations. You're already giving the target of your daydreams quite a lot of head space - seeking to up the ante into anything approaching flirtation means you're moving beyond a crush.

And if the target is a colleague, it's terribly easy to make a twat of yourself. And that would be a sorry ending for what should be kept as innocuous escapism.

Thanks for clarifying med :)

I think I do engineer contact sometimes - like for example if it was a cute guy in the office downstairs I'd make an excuse to go down there during the day to borrow something.

I don't flirt though - I don't make even the most vaguely risqué comment whatsoever. In fact being around anyone I've got a crush on or have been daydreaming about makes me so nervous that I do nothing except babble on about my DH repeatedly. Not really the actions of a wannabe philanderer.

I've noises what 'librations' are! I mean to type 'flirtation'

Part of the fun is the 'will I/won't I' of whether you actually see HIM. Engineering it might add a bit of anticipation, and give a bit of a rush when you find an excuse. But it's a bit of a bad idea because coworkers might notice that you're mooning around like a love lorn teen and that's a bit risible and/or pitiful. Babbling to DH won't be great from his pov either. Keep it strictly and solely in your head.

I don't babble to DH, I babble at my crushes about my DH. Like if I see them I feel so flustered and guilty about finding them attractive that I'm like... 'Oh yes, I was just saying that the other day to my husband. Have you met my husband? You'd like my husband. He's so lovely. I really love him. My husband that is. Husband husband husband.'

etc.

In my head, 'librations' meant like liberating your inner sexual desires on poor unwitting crush object.

I had to check that I hadn't posted this myself!

I too am married, genuinly love my DH and we have a good sex life but I always have a crush on the go - usually someone real life. The mid-cycle horn gets me hung up on the most unlikely candidates.

Currently it's a guy at work in a different department who doesn't even know I exist. I do make more of an effort with dressing and makeup if I know he's going to be in the office, but although I have very (ahem) explicit daydreams about him I actively avoid any interaction with him at work as I know that nothing good would come of it. I just look and lust from afar. It sure brightens up my day!!!

Sounds very healthy! We all need the odd fantasy to take us away from every day life! Just make sure you're unknowingly flirting with them!

*not unknowingly flirting

Lol

Thank you! I really enjoy my crushes. Makes me feel like a teenager again.