Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Cause of premature ejaculation?

15 replies

MamaPingu · 21/09/2013 21:02

Having a bit of a problem in the bedroom! Although it doesn't phase me in the slightest it really upsets my partner that he can't last long anymore. We had this problem a few weeks into our relationship then it went away for over a year, and now it has started again! Just don't seem to understand why?

If I use my hand or my mouth he can last a lot longer even though he really enjoys it, but during proper intercourse not very long at all!

Is there a reason why this is does anyone know? Smile

OP posts:
CogitoErgoSometimes · 21/09/2013 21:08

A lot of it's mental and a lot of it is due to stimulation. If he's upset, that's not going to help. FWIW just keep the foreplay running as long as possible and leave the PIV to the very end. That way everyone's happy.

Original poster
MamaPingu · 21/09/2013 21:16

It's daft cause it really doesn't bother me at all! I don't mind that it happens cause I know he can't help it, but I do understand why it upsets him bless him. I just don't understand why it started in the first place, but I bet stressing over it will keep it happening?

OP posts:
CogitoErgoSometimes · 21/09/2013 21:20

Like I say, there's a big mental element... keeping calm helps. Of course, if he's really worried, he might consider talking to his GP.

SnoogyWoo · 21/09/2013 21:29

It's frustrating but on the bright side he must really fancy you :)

Original poster
MamaPingu · 21/09/2013 22:10

If him fancying me was the cause that would be the best haha Smile

OP posts:
topknob · 22/09/2013 00:06

Is that what causes this? He can't help himself? Because he is so turned on. Genuine question :)

beaglesaresweet · 22/09/2013 01:24

topknob, this only applies to men who are young, or sometimes when sleeping with a new partner at any age (nerves/new excitement). It's not the case with older men within relationships, usually it's medical or age related or due to strong general anxiety.

StellarLights · 22/09/2013 01:26

Is he on any medication at all?
My exDP was on fluoxetine (anti depression meds) and for a while it caused him to suffer from premature ejaculation.

Original poster
MamaPingu · 22/09/2013 01:41

He said it was cause he fancied me when we were first together but I bet that was nerves incase he wasn't good or something! Smile

He's not on any medication and he's 20 if that counts as young I don't know?

OP posts:
OldLadyKnowsNothing · 22/09/2013 01:55

Yes, 20 counts as young. He may need to take himself in hand more often.

SnoogyWoo · 22/09/2013 07:37

20 is young and he will struggle with ball control.

Has he had many previous partners?

Original poster
MamaPingu · 22/09/2013 09:54

He's had a couple, I just don't get it cause it didn't happen for ages! Could that suggest its stress do you think?

OP posts:
Lazyjaney · 22/09/2013 10:16

The good thing about 20 is they're ready to go again pretty soon - have you tried going for a second round, that usually lasts longer.

SnoogyWoo · 22/09/2013 13:30

That's what I was going to suggest lazyjaney. At 20 he should be able to go 2 or 3 times before he is spent!

Stress is usually the cause of the opposite problem rather than this.

Original poster
MamaPingu · 22/09/2013 15:31

He never wants to have another go after it's happened cause he's too fed up with himself! Can't win haha Smile

I just wish he didn't mind cause it doesn't annoy me or anything at all!

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page