Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Flip

Original poster

Kiss on the lips

23 replies

macygracy · 21/09/2013 20:16

Am I awfully out of touch or is it normal in any circles for two separately married people to give each other a goodbye kiss on the lips?

I have seen it happen twice with my friend and a kind of business associate of hers, once was a bit drunk and once completely sober no one around but it could have been mistaken for a badly aimed cheek one.

I haven't said anything and not planning too, just wondering if this was acceptable behaviour in anyone eyes?

OP posts:

WayHarshTai · 21/09/2013 20:17

God I snog EVEYBODY when I'm a bit tiddly all the time.

Wouldn't bat an eyelid.

I kiss my mum and dad and siblings on the lips as a normal greeting.

I appreciate this isn't for everyone though so don't impose it on people unless I've had a few.

iklboo · 21/09/2013 20:19

FIL always tries to go in for a kiss on the lips. I almost get whiplash avoiding it.

nkf · 21/09/2013 20:19

I don't, but I don't know if it is acceptable for some people. Same as you really.

JoinYourPlayfellows · 21/09/2013 20:23

I wouldn't do it.

Kiss on the cheek? Yes (if I must)

Kiss on the mouth? Only for DH and DCs.

GirlWithTheLionHeart · 21/09/2013 20:32

Um, no

Chottie · 21/09/2013 20:34

A big no from me too. The only person who kisses me on the lips is DP.

StainlessSteelBegonia · 21/09/2013 20:47

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DaisyBD · 21/09/2013 20:49

I have a (male) friend who sometimes kisses me on the lips as a hello or goodbye, usually with a massive bear hug too. I'm very good friends with both him and his wife and I don't find it awkward or uncomfortable - it's actually rather touching (and I say that as someone who doesn't really like physical contact with people I'm not intimate with).

I'd say it's unusual enough to notice but certainly doesn't automatically mean there's any shenanigans going on.

cosydressinggown · 21/09/2013 20:55

My family all do lip kisses - I don't go in for all this 'cheek' nonsense - that's not a kiss! As a result I've probably kissed a few male friends in a way that they found odd!

myroomisatip · 21/09/2013 21:19

urgh NO! I would hate hate hate that. I barely give a hug to a friend let alone a cheek kiss. A kiss on the lips to me would be a massive invasion of my personal space.

The only person I ever kiss on the lips is my DP (unfortunately I do not have one, am unlikely now to ever have!). When I was brought up in the north, kissing (let alone one the lips) was not the 'done thing'!

Original poster

macygracy · 21/09/2013 21:33

Ok thanks, a bit of a mixed opinion! I must admit I find it unusual, especially as it happened twice (that I have seen, though they did not know I saw the second one).

I have no other reason to think anything else is going on, I would be annoyed if my DH kissed another woman on the lips. As far as I know neither knows the others partner.

I shall keep my nosy self to myself!

OP posts:

CogitoErgoSometimes · 21/09/2013 21:42

I'd be horrified if a friend went to kiss me goodbye on the lips and would be hugely suspicious if they were kissing my partner goodbye that way. I work with a lot of continentals and can just about stand the elaborate cheek-kissing rituals that involves. Bleuurghh... Do you think you've accidentally stumbled across some swingers OP? :)

catsrus · 21/09/2013 21:47

I have three male friends that do this (2 straight one gay) and they simply all come from families where this was the normal thing to do with people you loved / were close to - essentially they were treating me the same way then treated their sisters. It took a while but I've adjusted (in my family a peck on the cheek is considered pretty close to incest).

What I find interesting is that they come from very different backgrounds, one is from the US, one Welsh and the other London, one working class, the others had parents who were professionals ... So it really does seem to be a family systems thing rather than background.

It really might be nothing at all.

Horsemad · 21/09/2013 21:53

My best friend's DH always kisses me hello/goodbye on the lips; at first it freaked me a bit but he's totally genuine and absolutely NOT a sleaze, so now it doesn't bother me.

CogitoErgoSometimes · 21/09/2013 21:55

If it freaked you out didn't you tell him not to do it any more?

Horsemad · 21/09/2013 22:27

When I say 'freaked me out', I felt it was odd because no other men I know kiss me on the lips (apart from DH).

I didn't say anything because I didn't feel threatened, and soon realised he did it with everyone and is a lovely person.

Original poster

macygracy · 21/09/2013 22:28

Actually after reading the replies again, everyone who thinks it's ok is saying that for very good friends or family. My friend and this guy are effectively colleagues (kind of supplier/client relationship) so does that make a difference to anyone who thinks it's ok?

OP posts:

CogitoErgoSometimes · 21/09/2013 22:30

Don't you think he should have asked first rather than assume you're OK with being kissed on the mouth? I don't think a 'lovely person' would be that disrespectful of other people's boundaries.

SlimSlow · 21/09/2013 22:41

I'm not going to say the country as I'd out myself, but where I'm from, lip kissing is the norm and cheek is considered weird. I'd expect lip kisses between friends, family, colleagues, everyone.

SlimSlow · 21/09/2013 22:42

I don't mean 'I'd out myself' - obviously I am not the only person from that country(!), but am avoiding personal details.

paperclipsarebetterthanstaples · 21/09/2013 22:47

Aww, Myroom, I'm northern and most of my friends and family do hugs and kisses. Lips or cheek - not fussed :-) dp's parents are not huggy / kissy types though and were clearly uneasy when i hugged them both when i first met them!

Original poster

macygracy · 21/09/2013 22:48

Both of these people are British....

OP posts:

Horsemad · 21/09/2013 23:53

Cogito - I'm confident if I'd said anything he'd be mortified - it really IS a genuine thing, like a PP said, it's how he treats his family & close friends who hhe considers 'family'.

As I've never mentioned it to him he can't be blamed for being disrespectful. To him & his family, it is normal.

Flip