told him i dont love him any more

[princesskc]

He's not a bad person I just don't feel the same as I did before. We've been here before and I agreed to try again, he's my best friend, confidant but I feel we have more of a sibling relationship than husband and wife, sex makes my skin crawl. I'm hurting him and hate myself for that but I can't carry on.
Not sure why I'm posting on here or if this makes any sense. Just so confused.

Well how do you feel since you´ve told him?

What do you want to now?

You can´t help how you feel, and its important to be honest.

I feel like weight has been lifted but the guilt from knowing I've hurt him is hideous.
I want him to leave, if for nothing more than just to give me some head space, what do I say to the kids?

Well you where going to hurt him one way or another. Sorry if that seems hard but you can´t feel how you feel nor can you controll those feelings. So either you both stayed in a relationship which was not fulfilling or you had to say something.

Why do you want space?

Not sure yet with the kids, it depends if this is the start of you and your P seperating or if its not.

Princesskc, I can totally relate. DH and I have been talking about things for years and years, we have not had sex for 3+ years, last time we did, I was grinding my teeth :( I hate the way I feel about him, He deserves better.

Do you have children?

What are you going to do next?

I have stupidly got involved, with someone; although I use that term loosely, and I have been trashed on another thread.

Doner you 'loosely' shagged someone else whilst still with your husband. That's why you were trashed. Nothing to do with not loving him anymore.

He needs to leave or should I leave as its my choice to end the relationship? How did this happen? Why can't I just love him then everything will be ok?
I want space because we've done this before and I don't think I gave it a go because I wanted to, more because I felt guilty for trying to end it. If I had space to think what I wanted without bringing his feelings into it, does that make sense?

I'm in the same position princess.

We had the "I don't love you anymore" conversation years ago, several times. DP wants to keep trying; I don't.

WRT who should leave. IME (and I've hashed my situation out with friends and on MN a few times) most people feel that the person who wants to end the relationship should be the one to leave the home. I, personally, think that it depends on whether the home is owned or rented, where the children are going to live, work arrangements, family support, finances, and a whole lot of other things.

Yes you should take some time out. You've initiated the split, it would be very cruel to stick around with someone once you've crushed the life out of them with the 'I don't love you any more' speech, and you should do the decent thing and step out.

I agree with Cogito.

my friend had this conversation over and over, they tried to make it work but both agreed that they no longer loved each other after 20 years and 3 DC. They split, divorced and are both now happy with new partners.

The H would have stayed regardless for the sake of the DC but the W wanted a chance to find a new partner and be happy. She was 40. She asked her H to leave and he did because they owned another property that he could go to.

I think if you really have tried and it is not working, then you need to end it once and for all. Who should leave depends on finances, DC and other elements