Newly divorced, 43, will I find love again? Scared of being lonely

[Daisymay100]

Hi all, as title suggests I am a 43 year old divorcee. Has anyone else been in this position and found love again? I know I sound sorry for myself, but lets face it I'm no spring chicken and have four kids.

I was married for 20 years so its all a bit daunting. I do still get attention off men but do they really want someone my age with kids, or are all men looking for younger women?

I'm also scared of using dating sites because of the stories you hear about men just looking for sex.

Someone please restore my faith in men.

Ps I ended marriage as dh had an affair with a younger woman and I couldn't move past it.

Thanks ladies and hopefully gents who might want to reply!!!

I met my DP when I was 45 and and had 3 young children at home. He is two years older, very gorgeous but has no interest in 'young' women because they don't have life experience or maturity. Also his DD is 23 so think he feels it would be a bit weird.

We are very happy. I didn't use dating sites, we met by chance, but I know plenty of happy people who have.

I'm 42 with a young child.

After separating I was on a relationship for almost a year.
Not the man for me and I'm slowly thinking of starting dating again, as I've just felt unavailable.

You should not think of entering other relationships while you are worried about being lonely.

Why don't you rebuild your life as a single person first and then consider letting another man enter your life?

OP you have spent so long being a wife why not spend some time being a single person and pleasing yourself? Take up a new hobby, meet new people and make new friends. Focus on being happy and you don't need a relationship to do that.

Having DC can make pleasing yourself difficult but build your new life for you and see what comes along. I really would advise against rushing into anything too soon; you have come through a tough time and need some time to heal and a new relationship may not give you time or space todo that.

Oh and of course you will find someone gorgeous and lovely in the future: but make sure you are ready for that step and not just jumping into a relationship as it's what you know. Good luck!

I agree with Xenadog about enjoying your independence for a while. After 20 years as 'we' it's a difficult transition to 'I' and can feel disorientating at first. But there's a lot to be said for living life on your own terms, your way and rebuilding your confidence. As you've discovered to your cost, rely too much on someone else for your sense of self-worth and you're always vulnerable.

I also agree - forget men for a while and develop female friendships.

You can meet a man at any stage. My mum (widow) is 72 and gets hit on all the time

The main thing at the moment is to prove to yourself that you can do it all alone - then you will never feel truly lonely ever again because you can always rely on you.

Lweji very beautifully put.