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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

I am embarrassing myself at work

3 replies

Gostraighttojail · 20/09/2013 21:19

Hi. I have posted here about my marriage crumbling. I live abroad and know plenty of people but don't have any close friends here. I work ft and none of my colleagues have any idea about my marriage breaking down. I have had sex about once or twice in 6 years, neither a hug or even a little hand squeeze. There is a guy at work who is very kind. I am so unused to this behaviour it has really sent me off. I can't stop thinking about him, I fantasise about being with him and I feel really awkward around him. I suspect he has picked upon this. He is divorced; I only mention this as I wonder whether he has an inkling that I am kinda lonely :( and feels empathy/sorry for me. I have 2 young kids and can't leave the country even when divorced. How can I sort my head out and stop embarrassing myself? I blush, which makes things even worse.

OP posts:
CogitoErgoSometimes · 20/09/2013 22:19

I don't think it's embarrassing yourself to flirt or fantasise a little. You may feel embarrassed but that's quite a different thing. Find some confidence, enjoy the attention, enjoy the friendship and you'll restore a bit of your self-esteem.

saggyhairyarse · 20/09/2013 23:10

I am sure, if anything, he is flattered.

Shapechanger · 20/09/2013 23:30

This is all normal. You've been in an emotional and sexual desert so it is hardly surprising.

Everyone has crushes; try to enjoy it. It's only you that knows your feelings, you may think it's obvious to others but there isn't a window into your head that makes your thoughts known to everyone.

You must have pretty low self esteem (not surprising given what you say about your marriage) that your first thought is that this man might be being nice to you because he feels sorry for you.

Maybe he fancies you too :)

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