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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

So he said this......

32 replies

GarlicBreath · 20/09/2013 17:51

Been dating a man for just a month, went to his house last night, as I arrived he leaned in for a kiss and said "have you been eating garlic?"
My best mate said I should have laughed it off and I did try but felt gutted and like shit, he tried to get a bit frisky later and I just couldn't as all I could think about was my stinky garlic breath.
I was really pissed off and told him, he apologized but said I was too sensitive.
How would others feel?

OP posts:
Hassled · 20/09/2013 17:57

I can see it was awkward and embarrassing, but I don't think you should be feeling pissed off. He probably regretted saying it as soon as it came out of his mouth - and if he tried to get frisky later it clearly wasn't too much of an issue. If he'd said "Bloody hell your breath stinks" then you could be pissed off.

Hassled · 20/09/2013 17:58

Or are you pissed off because you hadn't been eating garlic?

justmuddlingalong · 20/09/2013 17:58

Had you been eating garlic?

FrancescaBell · 20/09/2013 18:02

Oh dear. The trouble with this is that if I'd only been dating someone a month and was repelled by their breath, it would really put me off. Difference is I wouldn't have wanted to 'get frisky' later on, so can only assume it wasn't that repellent!

Don't like the 'you're too sensitive' comment though. He wasn't actually enquiring whether you'd been eating garlic, he was telling you he could smell it and that he found it off-putting. It's hard not to feel a bit hurt and embarrassed by that after all.

maras2 · 20/09/2013 18:22

Cheeky fucker.Bin him,it'll only get worse.What a pig.

Thisisaeuphemism · 20/09/2013 18:47

Really? I say that kind of thing all the time.

Sparklysilversequins · 20/09/2013 18:50

I wouldn't bother seeing him again.

I wouldn't say it to someone and I don't want it said to me thanks, unless they know me well.

^Especially* as he tried it on later. Why say it if it wasn't bad enough to prevent him from wanting a shag later.

Sparklysilversequins · 20/09/2013 18:51

Do you say it to people you don't know very well Euphemism?

Apocalypto · 20/09/2013 18:51

Agree, bin. At this stage of things he should be on his best behaviour. If this is his best behaviour it's not good enough.

Remember that if someone you're with is rude to waiters, cleaners or Starbucks assistants, sooner or later they'll be like that towards you.

stowsettler · 20/09/2013 18:56

Blimey people can be a bit touchy on here! Perhaps not the most tactful thing to say but probably not a reason to bin him (not yet, anyway).

I think his comment that you're 'too sensitive' was probably meant to reassure in a light-hearted sort of way.

I'd try again and make sure I had a few mints in my bag. Mind you, I eat a LOT of garlic so it's a regular problem for me Blush

TheAccidentalExhibitionist · 20/09/2013 18:59

I can't see the problem. I also can't understand that there is the suggestion of binning him over this.
He asked you a straight forward question, if you're close enough to kiss surely you're close enough for him to ask this question?
You are over sensitive OP.

FrancescaBell · 20/09/2013 19:21

Thinking on this, I have to admit that if I found myself saying what he did after only a month, I'd know I just wasn't that into him and the whole thing was doomed. If you do bin him, I think it might be a case of you doing his dirty work for him.

Teeb · 20/09/2013 19:28

Are you very thorough in your oral hygiene?

Yougotbale · 20/09/2013 19:30

Had you been eating garlic? And how often do you see him? Probably you are being a bit sensitive

Shapechanger · 20/09/2013 19:30

It's rude but it might be nerves. Whatever, this doesn't sound like a match made in heaven.

Thisisaeuphemism · 20/09/2013 19:34

No, I say 'you reek' to people I don't know so well.

Not really, yes I can see how - as you had just arrived and that was one of the first things he said- that would piss me off.

Either he is not that into you :(
Or he's a stickler for oral hygiene :/
Or your breath smells terrible ;)

Thisisaeuphemism · 20/09/2013 19:35

That was a joke btw I don't think your breath smells.

honeybunny14 · 20/09/2013 19:35

I would feel a bit awkward even more so if id only been seeing him a month think hes rude tbh

Yougotbale · 20/09/2013 19:39

You do instantly assume that eating garlic is a negative, rather than an observation. Maybe your views of eating garlic and his are very different

GarlicBreath · 20/09/2013 20:27

Yougotbale, that's what he said, our views are very different, I have two adult daughters and had a chat with them about this today, they both said that after only 4 weeks they would be gutted too.
I'm 46 and have never been asked this before so hopefully I don't have a serious problem and it was a one off x

OP posts:
poppingin1 · 20/09/2013 20:32

Maybe he just feels very comfortable with you?

i wouldn't write him off just yet, it might just be that he already thinks you are familiar enough to talk to each other that way.

GirlWithTheLionHeart · 20/09/2013 20:45

I would've been hurt by that too and probably wouldn't want to kiss him later on either, but then I am quite sensitive! You're entitled to be. Doesn't seem to have much tact does he?

Shapechanger · 21/09/2013 00:51

Had you actually been eating garlic?

If you hadn't, then you might have a problem Wink

If you had, then I wonder why you ate garlic before a hot date. Some people really don't like the smell and it lingers. Maybe you weren't that into him anyway.

SundaysGirl · 21/09/2013 01:32

Really? So had you been eating garlic or not?

If you had then your breath probably smelt like garlic. Instead of freaking out and saying how disappointed and gutted you were, you do realise you could have just gone 'oh right, Yea I had garlic earlier, probably made my breath a bit garlic-y. I'll just go floss and brush my teeth'.

End of. If this was the scenario I am baffled by the takl of feeling 'gutted'. You eat garlic, your breath smells like it. He didn't say (from your post) 'jesus you utter reeking weirdo have you downed a pint of the best garlic-juice in the world, you utter freak' did he? He just asked if you had eaten garlic. Fucking hell. If you had then, um, yea your breath will smell like garlic!

Ahem.

If you had NOT eaten it and there is no way you could have smelled that way I would be a lot more cautious about someone saying that to me.

Bogeyface · 21/09/2013 01:36

I am the sort of person who would say to someone I knew well (and given that you have had sex, I would put him in that category!) "Blimey, you had garlic?!" When an ex BF I had a brief thing with years ago stank of it, I asked him if he had any and I had a nibble on a tiny bit.....problem solved!

Its a bit 6 of one, half a dozen of the other. He was a bit insensitive, but perhaps he feels close enough to you to say things like that and you were a bit over sensitive.

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