Lies, I hate LIES:(

[ilovemylittlestars]

how would you feel if you discovered your 'd'h had lied/not told the whole truth or been very vague with some financial details during your marriage? It relates to the family home which is in his name only. Now, when everything has to be put on the table, the story keeps changing and the aim appears to be drop me in the sht. He has lied, is still lying and I have not and am being honest but it seems that means nothing when you are up against a peed off liar with money. Bit of a rant, sorry but thank you for reading:)

I'd be heartily pissed off. Lying is a multitude of sins. The liar is insulting, disrespectful, immature, secretive, dishonest.... you can't plan with a liar, you don't know where you are with them and (evidently) you can't trust a word that comes out of their mouths. I don't care if it's big lies or small lies, it's all the same DNA. If it's your family home.... ffs... that's about as fundamental as it gets. How stupid does he think you are?

Well, that doesn't sound good. Are you in danger of losing the home? Do you have children?

Depending on exactly what's happening, if he really is trying to drop you in it it may be best you stop talking to him at all and get legal advice of your own.

I would consider a solicitor to look into it. It's your home too

This may be shutting the stable door after the horse has bolted, but it sounds like you could benefit from registering a beneficial interest in the family home.

I have registered home rights, I have left the home(with dcs) as it was made clear to me by him that it was not mine and I would not be entitled to anything, now he has changed his story and is claiming the home is joint as is the debt on it - a debt I only knew half the story of. It's driving me mad - why lie? Why change the story? I think he does think I am stupid, I feel a bit naive:(

Then you really do need legal advice. If he has fraudulently taken out a debt in your name, using the house as collateral... am I reading that right? ... it would be extremely serious. FWIW marital assets are joint, personal debts are personal.

The home is in his name only, the financial agreement he has is something he arranged with a family member that I was only told half the story - I was told its a loan, its not, it's a declaration of trust and its for alot more money that I was told:( legal advice I have but they are tied up today and I just came on here for a bit of a rant really:( and any advice. He is making out I knew all along but I didn't, its continuous with a lot of other lies he been telling -I hate it and start to doubt myself but I know what I know

I'm glad you're getting legal advice. If the loan/declaration of trust was between him and a family member & if you didn't sign anything then you are not liable for the debt. The home being in his name is irrelevant if you are married. I'm not going to say money isn't important - it is - but if you walk out of this crappy relationship with nothing more than the shirt on your back, you'll still be the winner. Keep that top of mind.

Nope, I never signed a bean. He is attempting to carry the threats he has made out - ie leave me with nothing:( but I do have my sanity and I am out now with dcs so really the only way is up. But as I said, its the lies, I hate it, I really hate lies especially if the person can do it to your face as he is doing and has even said I knew all along [sceptical] I don't think so I knew half a story

Please do see your solicitor. Lies are meat and drink to them :) The bigger the lie, the bigger the liar, the more punitive the outcome. He thinks he's being clever and getting one over on you right now, but you'll be the one that laughs last.

Thank you for that, my weekend won't be spent worrying quite so much :)

I am so sorry. But sounds like you've done the hardest bit, got away with your children. The rest WILL get sorted, make sure your solicitor knows everything, write it all down, and keep writing everything down as it happens with him, record of conversations, everything.

I have a diary with it all in and everything gets written down and emails are kept, learnt to record stuff ages ago and I am so glad I did:)

As my nan used to say, you can get to the bottom of a thief but you can never get to the bottom of a liar.

Unfortunately I think you will be stitched up.

The same thing happened to my friend her EX got his sisters to declare an interest in their house, which was in his name only but she had a declared interest.

She left with her children and want little money she could get, which like you made her life so much harder then it needed to be.

On the plus side he a sad lonely person who lives by himself, with his friend 'Charlie'. While yes her life is hard and she works hard but she has her children with her and they have a good life away from the stress of living with him.

I am sure I will:( however, I am out and although with relatives for now I am much happier, at least that's a start I suppose. Like I say, it's the lies:(