Don't know how to leave

[poppyswill]

Forgive mel, new here, I work part time my husband full time in a very well paid job. We have two children 11 and 6, he controls all the money. I work part time but husband makes all decisions about the money. He even buys weekly shop. This is no about that though, I am just so sad abut our life. I married him to make our children feel secure but it has left me feeling so sad and lonely, we don't talk, I have no idea about his life outside of family. He lies, I know this as fact. He calls me names and we have lost all respect for each other. We haven't loved for a long time now I just want to know if you can give me some support or information about who to.contact about separation/divorce. Btw he so kindly told me he'd quit his job if I ever asked for a divorce so he wouldn't have to pay child support... Nice.

I'm sorry you're so unhappy but try to stay optimistic. As a married woman with children you've got certain rights as well as responsibilities in the event of a divorce and by far the best thing you can do at this stage is find a solicitor specialising in Family Law (either through the Law Society website or better still through a personal recommendation) and go talk to them. Some offer a free initial consultation and you can find out a huge amount in the space of half an hour.

As you are suffering various forms of abuse right now... financial, emotional and verbal just from what you've written... you might also benefit from talking to the Womens Aid charity. They can offer some practical suggestions e.g. if you wanted to set up solo while you're waiting for the divorce.

If he did quit his job and leave his children penniless, it would just confirm what an arsehole he is :) I don't say this lightly but it really is better to be independent and happy in your skin, even if you're living in very reduced circumstances, than to stay manacled to an abusive man.

I agree with cogito about Women's Aid.

Also, it might be good to speak to Citizens Advice Bureau. They can give you £ advice, and give you local advice to what's available to you and your children.

Being with an abusive partner means your head gets screwed up because they manipulate you. He wants you to believe that you can't leave. It's not true. It will be hard, but there are people to help you.

How is your relationship with your family? Has he isolated you?