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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Why's he so friendly with my kids?

16 replies

TopsyandTim2 · 18/09/2013 14:22

Has anyone ever experienced a man getting to know their kids (through school/clubs etc) as a means of getting to know them? I'm certain there's nothing dodgy going on, but this man seems to be really good friends with my kids - why is he overly friendly with them above all the others? Thanks for any advice. It seems unusual to me.

OP posts:
FetchezLaVache · 18/09/2013 14:27

What's the context, who is this man, is he in a position of trust, do you know him at all, what age are your kids, is he not as friendly with the other children there, is he ever on his own with them? Something has clearly set alarm bells ringing. Could be nothing, probably is nothing, but I think it needs looking into promptly.

rootypig · 18/09/2013 14:27

Who is this man? Can you describe what you mean by 'friendly with them above all others'? What you've said could describe a range of situations, some ok, others definitely not.

Though the fact you've noticed it's unusual and are posting here is a bit of a red flag in itself tbh.

Cheryzan · 18/09/2013 14:29

Red flag!

CogitoErgoSometimes · 18/09/2013 14:30

I'm not going to go 'red flag' here. If you were a dog-lover and he wanted to impress you, he'd be nice to your dog. As a mother he's trying to impress you by being extra nice to your kids. Unless you suspect something dodgy's going on, take the man on face-value.

cestlavielife · 18/09/2013 14:31

depends who he is. what context what else you know of him etcetc.

something like this happened with my son someone who got over friendly...i dont think anything untoward happened - tho i can never know for sure - but couple years later i was called and informed that a complaint had been made..and he was later imprisoned for child assault. turned out he had convictions which had not been picked up on crb check due to failures in the sytem (which hopefully have now been rectified...)

but sometimes people are just genuine.

gamerchick · 18/09/2013 14:33

You'll have to explain more I think. Although we have decent instincts for a reason I think and if they're giving a prod then it's worth listening.

If I had an instinct I would be keeping a close eye on things as you do anyroad.

TopsyandTim2 · 18/09/2013 14:35

He's never alone with them, he's a teacher who we also run into at an out of school club. Maybe he's just a nice guy who likes kids!

OP posts:
Lweji · 18/09/2013 14:37

If he's trying to get to you through them, then it should be obvious.

If he's simply taking a special interest in them, I'd be Hmm

cestlavielife · 18/09/2013 14:37

if he is a teacher, i would hope he likes being around kids.

why do you think he is over friendly towards your kids in particular?

Cheryzan · 18/09/2013 14:38

If he just likes kids, why is he more friendly with your kids then with others?

TopsyandTim2 · 18/09/2013 14:40

I don't know why he's especially friendly to my kids. It puzzles me.

OP posts:
CogitoErgoSometimes · 18/09/2013 14:43

Does he do anything else that makes you think he wants to get to know you better? Asked you out on a date etc?

gamerchick · 18/09/2013 14:44

Maybe he has a thing for you perhaps. It won't do no harm to keep an extra aye on things but that's all.

gamerchick · 18/09/2013 14:45

Xpost

CogitoErgoSometimes · 18/09/2013 14:49

I used to be involved in Scouts.. Some of the kids were nicer than others and, like all human beings, you gravitate towards the ones you get along with. Didn't mean I was trying to pull their dads...

IchBinNerd · 18/09/2013 17:38

A teacher being nice to kids doesn't sound in any way odd to me. How old are your kids?

How do you know he's nicer to your kids than any of the others though? My DC's teachers are always incredibly friendly to them when I'm around - I'm certain the over friendliness doesn't last for the 6 hours that I'm not there.

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