So DP was married for a very long time and from what he (and others) have told me if was a tough marriage, especially towards the end and then the inevitable divorce finished him off - losing his kids, having to sell his house, lost the dog and half of everything he'd built up over the past 20 years (his ex never worked and I think he feels a bit bitter that she got half of what he'd earnt in that time). So he comes out of that all bitter and swears he'll never get married again. But to be fair, he never saw himself getting involved in a serious relationship again either.
Then we met. Fell in love. Moved in together - everything hunky dory.
Except I've never been married and the thought of NEVER getting married really upsets me. It's not about kids etc and we don't want anymore (and he's had the snip anyway), I just want be married to the man I love.
The first time I mentioned marriage he freaked out, said he didn't think he could go through that again etc. I explained how important it was to me and he said if it was really that important to me, he'd work at getting his head around it and maybe in a couple of years, if we're still as strong as we are, maybe it could be a possibility.
2nd time I mentioned it (about a year later) he said he wasn't dead against marriage and he just needed a bit of time - he's only been divorced 3 years after a 20 year marriage. It wasn't that he didn't want to, he just couldn't face it yet.
So my question is, how long do I wait? he could be saying this for years. Ideally I'd like him to propose to me but I can't see that ever happening :-( so do I give it another year and then ask HIM? what if he says no?