When my husband left me I was devastated, I was convinced he was having an affair with one of his 'friends'. But suppose she had taken my place as his confidant... we had drifted so far apart just got on with day to day as many couples do often for children. But what are those children really witnessing??? a couple not showing affection and love? isn't that more damaging? This other women had become his best friend instead of me... and after 15 years together he said his feelings had changed which I know they do for many people.
Im saddened to see so many of you suffering from the aftermath of affairs but surely some of those affairs could have been prevented if talking had taken place. I know I know there are men who cheat all the time. But when love and companionship is missing I KNOW from me.... my personal experience at some point an affair or friendship will happen..
when needs arent met over months years someone will come along and meet then possibly not maybe intentially... I read a book called his needs her needs and it has revolutionalised my thinking.. I don't intend to make the same mistakes again in my new relationship.
Ive read the back lash of men who have strayed upon their wives... those saying its not your fault...and of course affairs ARENT right but I cant accept that for most the failure is potentially down to both, in another posting a women had bravely admitted to having an affair.. because her marriage she felt had changed her feelings had changed...and no again the affair wasn't the answer... but telling the truth to her partner about her changed feelings should be spoken...
I had to let my husband go why would I want to hang on to him when he wanted out... when our relationship would have been nothing more than co habiting... its ridiculous... this way we are both now good parents, our children are witnessing us both with new loving partners... and not some cold empty partnership that had died..
my point.... keep talking to those you love. before its too late and the serious damage is done.. and if you aren't feeling ok then let your partner know.. and if he has the courage to tell you the same then talk and if hes adamant let him go, cause hanging on will destroy yourself and him and potentially your childrens ability to love themselves.
love to all those suffering x