So angry with DH

[Lovemyfamily]

Tonight I was trying to get my

Kids off to there after school activity, the same activity that DH insists they stick in at!! And tonight everytime I'd asked the kids to get them selves organised, ie shoes on turn x box off n get change into activity uniform etc!! I felt I was being ignored, so like any other mother would do I think?? I eventually moaned at them and gave them a row as I felt I was doing all the rushing around to get them there on time and the couldn't give a toss?? then my DH stepped in and told me to leave them alone to stop moaning at them?? I had explained that if he was in my trousers he'd be doing the same! He disagreed which is a load of my backside! As if the kids don't do what he asks there and then he roars at them!? We ended up arguing and I'm like this is not even for me?? I was only trying to get them there on time? And know I've ended up being a horrible mum and according to my ds who is nine! His dad is right and he basically copied every thing his dad had said to me before leaving the house?
Am I missing something here?! Apparently ds doesn't care how I feel nor my feelings His dad is right and I'm just a twat basicly?
Is it me or has DH made me look like a complete monster and undermined me? Made it look like that he's the great nice one and I'm the rotten moaning horrible mum? I'm so fecking angry! I could deck him!

Sit your H down alone and tell him to stop it in front of the children as you are their parent as well as him and they should do what you want.

If he wants them to continue the activity make it his responsibility to get them there from now on. You will remind once. After than they and him are on their own.

If they ignore you about things then take nice things away. No x box for the rest of the evening etc.

Hi thanks for replying,,
I've

Sent before I started??

I've tried to take things away but DH says I'm to hard on ds?, in front of ds and tells him to just go on!

Tbh I prefer not to do it in front of the kids as my ds is copying his dad know, and it's not his fault really he's only nine! He's only a mirror vision of what he see's so I'm going to try put my hurt aside and play the ‘game' as my DH says I was suppose ably playing?? Lol

I have told DH that from know on I will never moan at anyone for anything again., so if for eg.,,
The kids muck about after I have kindly asked them to get organised for an activity they are doing that DH insists they keep in at as it costs him money! and both dc's do ignore me! That's fine, I'll will not moan at them, I will leave them alone and if they arnt ready we don't go! And he ‘DH' can deal with them when he gets in! That way I'm not a horrible mum for trying and my darling DH after a while will begin to get fed up,,
The kids didn't want to go tonight, in which I had told him, he'd asked me to tell them they had to were I replied,,! You can as I don't want to come across as moaning to them. Which he did, there were tears from ds, But as a result my son has been nice to me and everything I have asked of him he has done??
I am confused!?
I cheekily asked ds was mums ways easier on him than dad's? And he had said It was with a look of ‘ok don't rub it in'

DH keeps trying to talk to me like all is normal, but there was a lot of stuff said and done that cut me and I can't just switch it off like he can?!
I had told him that ds had repeated what he had all said to me and that if he didn't see me again he wouldn't care, so I congratulated my DH for his excellent parental skills! Which I don't think went down really well?
After this he'd texted me saying he was just going to work late after all,
Which I'd explained that this was just typical of him.

Are there any other issues in your relationship?

His attitudes feel weird. On what you report, both controlling and gaslighting.

I'd be refusing to take them to said activity full stop.
And I'd be telling him to deal with the kids when he's home.

When you can talk properly with him and ask him how he expects to parent with you. Be firm that you won't put up with undermining and that you will pull up on his behaviour every time.
He needs to discuss parenting with you in private.

Your husband is undermining you and needs to shut the fuck up.

Yes, completely undermining. He shows no respect for you and your DCs are following in his footsteps. I would sit down with him and make it very clear that he starts backing you up, and supporting you. And if he can't/won't do that, I would seriously consider what you get out of the relationship.

Wow. There is no way my DH would undermine me like this. It is really disrespectful and completely unacceptable.

It doesn't sound a nice place to live
Your ds stuck in the middle of whose side to be on