I hope I never fall in love again

[WelshBoris]

I really really dont

I could survive without it so why bother?

I'm kind of interested in the idea that 'bitter and angry' can be shorthand for 'realising romantic love isn't necessarily all it's cracked up to be'...but it's probably too late and I should be revising.

Boris, hope you get some sleep...

WB

We learn about relationships first and foremost from our parents. If your own parents had a poor relationship amongst themselves you would have seen this when growing up and many such women go on to subconsciously relive what has already been learnt. Women with poor self esteem and worth seem very attractive to men with the same sort of issues and thus get dragged down even further.

Have you developed a pattern in terms of relationships - have they always ended badly with the same sort of events leading up to separation?.

You need to look within your own self, unlearn certain things to do with relationships and change your own perceptions of men. This is going to be hard for you - it is difficult to change mindset and is impossible to change someone else's. You may therefore need to consider counselling just to talk it through with someone. It can be worked through but you're going to have to put the owrk in. It is all too easy to become bitter and hurt but if you do become like this, you let the people who did this to you win.

It would be a crying shame to dismiss love with another man for the rest of your days.

I argue as well that you need to be able to love your own self before you can truly love another - I get the feeling that you don't love yourself at all.

I agree Thomcat

You are not that strong Boris, you are scared shitless of this

It's fine, we all get scared, but don't make it a mantra to live by

No my parents are very happy as are both sets of grandparents

I was in a realtionship from 16-20 with a wonderful boy, but then met my DDs father fell for him big time and got hurt

I dont have issues, well no more than anyone else anyway

I just got hurt badly

I dont have a bad perception of men , my father is my hero and my brothers are amazing boys who will grow up to be amazing men

Im sure I will meet someone one day, just need to let my defences down when I do
And yes I slept thanks snafu x

Just to be clear I don't think that < 'bitter and angry' can be shorthand for 'realising romantic love isn't necessarily all it's cracked up to be' > But I do think that the vibe from certain posts, from women in the middle of their life, young women, with young children, could possibly sound as if they are more angry, hurt, bitter, and sad then happily, joyfully resigned to the fact they don't want or need a relationship. I'm sure it's possible to be happy without having that form of love and companionship in your life, just not convinced by certain posts and posters that they truly feel that way. Think the feelings stem more from hurt, pain, rejection and anger etc than a happy carefree I've decided I don't ever want a man again and am happy with this decision.

Well WB - you may hope you never find it again, but I personally don't wih that on you. I hope you have some happy time on your own, with you DS (think I have that right re you having a son, sorry if not) - and then I hope you meet somone who slips into your life and puts a smile on your face and an extra beat to your heart, a sprinbg in your step. Someone to share your lives with. I hope that hppens for you, I really do, whether you think you want it or not!
And that goes for you too Snafu

Message withdrawn

I don't believe in 'falling in love'. It's a conscious decision, really. So yeah, it's easy enough avoided.

but the lust that usually accompanys it isn't always so easy to avoid, shrug off and walk away from.

it is to old crones like me!

i learned the hard way, though.

Rememeber this thread? Ha ha!!

It was about a week after this that I met my boyfriend and we're so in love its sickening!