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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Relationships

no idea what to call this thread

71 replies

Blondeorbrunette · 16/09/2013 13:52

I have no ideb where to start sorting out the shit heap that is my life.

I cant make a decision to save my life. When i do, i cant stick to it.

I think im depressed, i dont even know that.
I have madd an app with my doctor for thurs to discuss this.

All that has gone wrong in my life is catching up with me.

My horrendous childhood, my shit parents. My brother attempted sex with me when i was 14.
At the end of may i went out for a drink and i got a taxi home. Woke up in the morning without a stitch on. I have very little memory of what happened.

When i go to doc on thursday im gonna tell him i need help or im gonna throw my phone in the cnal and go missing.

I just dont know where to start.

Im a cunt to everyone around. What comes out of my mouth is shocking.

To top it off i am stuck in a marriageh want out of.

I hate my life. I hate it.

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Mabelface · 25/09/2013 21:20

Well done! You're really bloody amazing. Look at what you've done in such a short time. Go you! Grin

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Blondeorbrunette · 26/09/2013 11:47

Wil respond when i have more time sorry!

He woke me up last night in bed plazing with me. Boak
and i said no chance. He said to me you have woken me up and now im horny. Said cant we just do doggy i said no. He got cross and said well im horny, what you gonna do abt it.

My god he has no respect for me does he.

This morning he turned me around to give me a hug. Wtf.

Stay with my ladies, i feel as though my chest is going to burst. The pressure is overwhelming.

Im going to fuckin do this!!

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Mabelface · 26/09/2013 21:16

Ew. He assaulted you in your sleep. Ew. What a vile man. You are so going to do this!

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Lweji · 26/09/2013 21:27

Use that righteous anger.

Stay strong.

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therewearethen · 26/09/2013 22:52

Your update about packing made me Smile just hang tight, I hope you get out soon, take care x

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ButterMyArse · 26/09/2013 23:04

Just seen your thread. He is an abusive fuckwit, isn't he?

So glad you're getting out. Keep posting.

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Blondeorbrunette · 27/09/2013 10:23

I am swinging between euphoria and despair every 5 mins. This is all i can think about!

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Patosshades · 27/09/2013 12:59

He didn't have sex with you against your will did he? I hope I'm reading your message wrong.

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Blondeorbrunette · 27/09/2013 18:54

I woke up and it was in. He was spooning me. Bastard.

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ButterMyArse · 27/09/2013 23:13

He raped you. What a fucking pig of a man. :(

You're off this weekend, yes? Stay strong - no one deserves abuse as part of their everyday life.

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Lweji · 28/09/2013 03:58

Fingers crossed for Saturday. :)

You should then go to the police and report him for rape, although you won't.

Please make sure you are safe.

Not sure what you have planed for after leaving, but do not meet him, at least not without other people around.
He's a rapist and may well turn violent.

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Blondeorbrunette · 28/09/2013 16:26

Im leaving today. He is a cunt.
Feel fine for now :)

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ReviewsOffers · 28/09/2013 16:32

Good luck Blondeorbrunette

The best days are yet to come Smile

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Shellywelly1973 · 28/09/2013 17:10

Keep us updated.

Your stronger then you think...look at what you've got through already.

Best of luck.

Tske care of yourself & your dc.

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ButterMyArse · 28/09/2013 17:21

GOOD LUCK! See you on the other side :)

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Blondeorbrunette · 28/09/2013 17:33

Im gone. Will update later

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Mabelface · 28/09/2013 18:44

Brilliant! Will look out for your update. x

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Lweji · 28/09/2013 19:20

Grin

Well done.

Now, make sure you keep away.
Coping with the begging and seemingly changed it's the difficult part.

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iwasyoungonce · 28/09/2013 23:06

So happy for you! Well done, well done, well done! x

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Blondeorbrunette · 29/09/2013 01:24

He wont beg, not ome bit. We have been here before.

Feel a bit off, had a little cry.

I know this is the right thing.

A good man doesnt hit his wife.

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iwasyoungonce · 30/09/2013 11:45

And that's it in a nutshell, BB. A good man does not hit his wife. You should never feel intimidated or scared by your partner.

If ever you feel tempted to go back, please remember that. He won't change, you know this.

You're free now, and your DC are free. Things will get better and better for you now. You'll look back in years to come and realise that this was your turning point. And YOU did it. Well done, I mean it.

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