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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

DH's anxiety bringing me down

2 replies

needasilverlining · 15/09/2013 09:36

This is very unfair of me but is getting to me so writing it here.

DH is fab - kind, concerned, we share everything, fantastic dad, thoughtful. We are both worriers so we understand what it's like

But the last few months he's constantly worrying about his health (and there is an issue which might or might not turn out to be serious); the state of the house and repairs and whether the workmen we call in are dodgy; the area we live in which is not perfect but really no serious problems to my eyes.

It's got to the stage that I don't want to dismiss his concerns if they're real, but it's really fucking depressing me to listen to it all the time. I need to suggest he goes back and has more counselling but need to do it tactfully.

I feel so guilty for feeling like this but honestly it grinds me down.

OP posts:
mynewpassion · 15/09/2013 09:45

Depending on what this health scare is and its seriousness, he is just concern about the future if he's not here. Its grinding for you but for him, it might be worse.

Next time he visits the clinic or hospital, bring it up to the GP and they might suggest more counseling.

needasilverlining · 15/09/2013 15:12

Well, not sure that went well.

He noticed I was looking miserable and asked what was wrong, and I told him I was worrying as his anxiety levels appeared to be spiralling and he was being relentlessly negative about everything (I can't remember exact words though they were more tactful than that).

He got a bit defensive and pointed out there were real reasons to be worried, not so keen on area etc etc but admitted, when asked by me, that we can't really move just now. In which case, I said, how about trying to see positives rather than constant complaints to everyone?

He did say he felt a bit dismissed by my reaction to what he says, which I think is a fair point and a chicken and egg situation; I'm prob more positive and jolly-along than I'd like to be because of how he's being, but hhe's getting annoyed by that and maybe overstating.

Kids about so couldn't have proper talk,, think one is needed.

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