somebody help me get through tonight

[UhhOhhh]

it's over between me and oh. he's making me sleep on the sofa, feel so alone, can't take anymore.

Why are you sleeping on the sofa? Can you go to a friends? Are you safe?

I'm sorry you are in that place. It won't feel like that forever.

Oh love xxx

It will be all right - I promise you.

Hi op I'm still up. It all sounds shit but there's break ups always hurts the most straight away - we all get over them in time. Was it a long relationship?

yes I'm safe, he wouldn't hurt me. I'm sleeping on the sofa because he wont get out of the bed.

I've had enough of him, he doesn't care about me, hasn't shown me one bit of affection in years, only wants sex if he's pissed, says if I leave him I'll become a scumbag on the social, puts me down, ive had threads about him forcing me into an abortion and had a miscarriage last year.

cant leave now, kids asleep in bed, no where to go anyway

yes we've been together for 12 years, he's been my best friend sunce I was 16, cant stop crying

What do you mean, he's making you sleep on the sofa?
Is it his house? Do you have DC? Do you have any money?

If the answer to the last two are no and yes then get yourself out now and to a travel lodge or something.

Have you had a row.

If he forced you into an abortion, then that's unforgivable in my eyes. I'm so sorry. You need a plan.

How are you for money? Don't listen to his nonsense about scumbag on the social - you should get benefits for you and your children to survive without him. That's what benefits are for.

Ah, x posted!

He not your best friend love. He's an entitled bully and you can build a better life for you the the DC away from him.

cant leave my children. He wont sleep on sofa so I have to. It's both our house.

sorry if I'm not making sense, just feel like I cant carry on like this anymore. If you love someone you show them right?

How old are your DC? What are your thoughts about what to do in the morning?

So sorry.

They are 9 and 2. I don't think I can do this to them. I love him but he doesn't ever seem to listen to me. it's always about him. I feel like an convenience to him, I don't feel loved by him, wish I could think straight, I'm scared of leaving him what if it's a mistake and what will I put my children through?

the cruelest thing is his indifference

This is horrible I know, and you can't see how you can make things work. But you can, I promise. Just think what you are doing to your DC by allowing them to live in that environment. What are they learning?

If you can't sleep, please think about what you will do tomorrow. Just one day. Take it one day at a time. Where can you get some RL support?

OP you don't have to think through everything tonight - you must feel destroyed. One step at a time - as berkshire said - what will you do in the morning? He may seem indifferent now but he will not feel that way. He just wants to sleep and then he doesn't have to think about it - selfish. Holding your hand. When you see DC in the morning they will may you feel better - you will always have them no matter what else happens in the coming days/weeks.

Your DC/s will be far far happier with a happy mum who is not suffering in a miserable relationship, so you are making the right choice OP.
It took me decades to leave mine. When I finally did, my adult children told me they wished I had done it when they were young!

Of course it feels dreadful now. Ending a relationship is really really hard, but it certainly sounds as though you will be well out of this one!!

I dont know what I'll do tomorrow. Mil is meant to be taking the girls out, maybe have a talk to him then.

He's now saying that he feels sick, I should come to bed, he's acting like nothings happened.

I really dont think my girls have noticed anything, we never argue in front of them. We actually get on quite well, but it's superficial theres no love behind it. My 9 year old will be destroyed by this.

It's not right that I spend most of my time daydreaming about living without him is it? I'm not sure anymore if it is him or if it's just that I'm so unhappy at the moment.

Hope you're feeling a bit more in control this morning OP. Have you spoken to him yet? Would you feel more comfortable planning an exit - sorting financials and somewhere to live first?

Do try and find someone in RL that you can talk to and who will help you keep things in perspective.

And your children will notice. They always do. They'll just think it's normal.

Well he wasn't lying when he said he felt sick, he spent all night throwing up and going to the toilet, food poisoning I think.

So no I havent spoken to him, he's been in bed and I've been to the supermarket and doing cleaning. Kids have now gone out with mil.

It's like last night never happened. He only said that he's sorry for how he's made me feel, he's been tired and stressed from work yada yada yada. I've heard it all before.

I feel like I need to get some money together, I'm a sahm, make a plan, but it all feels too big and scary. I'm just so worried about my dds I can't break up their family.

Your dd's need a happy mummy.

Use the break in the storm to make plans and don't tell him any of them until they are all sorted.

look at the women's aid website they have informations on making a plan to get out safely (or to get him out). (in private browsing and keep thid thread hidden)

I remember your threads.
Your partner is not your best friend....he is a bully and he does not value you. You deserve much better.

Well it's all been swept under the carpet. We've all had a vomiting bug this week which has been nasty. I'm going to go to the doctors next week because I'm starting to think I'm depressed, I just can't shake this sad feeling I feel like a dark cloud is following me around. How do you talk to the doctor about it? I wouldn't know how to start.

His mum has just been diagnosed with breast cancer, I'm very worried about her. And rather selfishly of me I don't feel like I can bring up our relationship problems with this going on.

Sorry for rambling, it help to get how I'm feeling down.