Husband won't communicate

[justanuthermanicmumsday]

I'm desperate for a bit of advice I know my sis would say oh it's normal put up with it. I don't think it's normal.

Of late my husband blames me for any problem with anything in the house. apparently I don't listen to him. The truth is I do as he says 80% of the time and that's hard as I'm as stubborn as him and rebellious.
But the way I see it if he wants to feel like he is right and I'm am wrong that's fine with me if it will avoid petty arguments.

I actually feel like I'm always walking on egg shells, everything ends up into an argument. To avoid arguments I don't retaliate I usually keep quiet or say yes it's my fault. Or walk out the room so nothing is resolved.

lately he won't talk to me he's not well and won't say why he went to the gp. when I say do you want me to leave he replies do what you want you always do. In all the years we've been married he's never spoken to me like that I find it so disrespectful and hurtful. When I say don't you care anymore, what have I done to you. He says of course I care don't bring that up again, like I'm a nag even though I know I've not pestered him at all. I've got a low self esteem so this is making things worse I feel so isolated and miserable.

He does have a mother with dementia and his own business so that doesn't help either he doesn't do well with stress. We also have 4 small children.

so any advice what am I supposed to do. I've tried to sit down with him but he does not speak to me about this problem.

He doesn't respect you, love. He will always be right and you, good little wifey, needs to stay in place you belong in - the wrong. It's not normal at all in a healthy relationship. I'd go as far as to say that he's emotionally abusive. It's now up to you whether you want to stay with him and his abusive ways or whether you start afresh without him.

I think you're being charitable assuming that this horrible behaviour is because he has some kind of problem. I also think you're being foolish to think that all you need is to know what that problem is and everything will be peaches and cream.

He's rude, dismissive, disrespectful, hurls blame, belittles your opinion and generally does everything to make your low self-esteem a little lower. In short, he's a BULLY. OK, so he may be stressed but that is no excuse. You don't deal with bullies by sitting down and reasoning with them. You either challenge them head on and refuse to accept the insults or you get out of their influence so that they can't harm you any more.

"if he wants to feel like he is right and I'm am wrong that's fine with me if it will avoid petty arguments."

This approach will only ramp up the bullying, sadly. Keeping quiet so that you avoid arguments, suppressing your opinions... capitulating basically... will make you even weaker and more contemptible in his eyes.

Be strong.