Just split with abusive p

[Getoutofmygumboot]

Started a chat in thread and was advised to move here.

I kind of feel guilty is that normal?

Pretty long back story, but basically he was abused by his stepmother as a child so this is the basis of his problems.

Feel for him I really do but I shouldn't have to put up with this should I, more importantly our 1 yr old dd shouldn't have to.

He was ea but he did whip me with a tea towel in an argument and also threw a glass of water at me on a separate occasion.

Please tell me it gets better.

Sorry if this doesn't make sense I'm all over the place at the minute.

Well done!
Of course you will feel weird/conflicted/guilty. It's all natural. But it doesn't mean it isn't the right thing to do x

Sorry I cant really advise, but it certainly sounds to me like you have done the right thing, has he ever been to any counselling to deal with his childhood abuse?.

The first few days are a bit bewildering, but seriously it does get easier.

You are making the best decision for you, and for your DD.

You will feel all over the place, your émotions will be erratic, so please expect this, prepare for it and be kind to yourself.

Have you thought about doing The Freedom Programme? It might help you see what you've been through, and how to stop repeating it in the future.

Thanks for the replies.

He had councelling before I met him but didn't see it through so I don't think it made any difference.

I have heard of the freedom programme I have a friend who has just started it.

The thing is I still love him, but not enough to carry on the relationship, he came to see dd tonight and started crying I felt awful like I should of cuddled him, I didn't.
I know I shouldn't feel bad, whenever I cry he tells me to stop as what's the point In crying it doesn't anything different.

He can be the lovliest person, just not to me, I think this is why I feel guilty but I know I can't keep excusing his behaviour. Trying to think of all the bad things so I remember why I have done this. Men are good At making you feel guilty aren't they?

It gets easier. ....one day at a time.

You love the person he made you think he is.

He's not that person. It was an act to hook you. He can't ever be that person, cos it's not him.

I know you'll feel sad, foolish, angry, alone, frightened, all sorts of emotions, all of them are natural.
Please do the FP, it's a good place to start. We're here too!