Quick advice needed, i am starting to see red mist.....

[Nixz]

I havent been on here for a while but i really need some advice just now!
Dp and i have been together for 7 years, we split for 18 months and got back together about 1 year ago.
I dont know what he did in them 18months as we both lived at different parts of the country but i know he had other women. Anyway, he left his mobile phone bill on the side today (by accident i think) and i noticed straigh away the amount of texts he sends (he's always too busy to send them to me!!), anyway, there were loads (i mean loads) to the same numbers, some at odd times in the night/early hours. So, for some daft reason, i phoned the 3 most prominent and guess who answered.....women.
He knows something is wrong but i really dont know how to handle it, he is obsessive about his privay, his phone never leaves his side. Help!

I agree with Moondog.

Furthermore I think this "just friends" excuse rolled out whenever anything like this happens is a load of shite.

I may not actually know them all, but I know of all DP's friends and colleagues. If he is close enough to "get on" and/or want to socialise with other people than their names inevitably pop up at different times in conversation.

I should think that there are very few couples where they don't each know of each others friends. And whilst some couples do, for whatever reason, enjoy separate social lives and circles of friends, again, I would think it very odd if their partners had never discussed, or eben mentioned, these people.

I think he's "protesting too much" as the saying goes ...... WAAAY too much ......... we all know that attack is a classic form of "defence". If there was nothing in it he would take the time to reassure you and certainly not insult you.

sorry to say Nixz but I agree with cats & Moon...when I caught my dh cheating his phone was welded to his side never out of his sight and if I even dared to touch it he got upset saying I was invading his privacy...it's a load of bllcks

Now that we are together and back to normal he does'nt give a toss what or who has his phone so long as it's charged and does'nt freak out or feel the need to talk in the bathroom...etc there is def. something going on imo

he's run off before you chuck him out or to have time to get his story straight.

You are not any of those things he said you are strong and brave I hope things work out hon.

thankyou everyone. when asked why he has made several texts to these numbers and aometimes at odd times,he sayd its when they are drunk they drop him a text or sometimes if he hasnt heard from them for a while they will have a natter by text. I know he doesnt see them as he is home 99% of the time and some of them live down south, however there could be opportunities to go there with work. The number he has texted most is the number of the woman who lives local, she had a northern accent with a hint of scouse. He says he has 2 friends who live in Nantwich, i dunno what to think although when i said that if i called these numbers does he think that they would back up his story he started calling me pathestic and did the old....'i left my job to be here, i did this to be with you blah blah..'
Will see what happens today.....i personally think that he will be flirting with girls by text but im not sure if he is seeing someone else as i dont know when he would do it but i can be 100% of any of it.
I bet he walked out of this house and got on the phone to them all!

Do you really want this man in your life? Even if me and dh had split up for a time, I'd still be devastated if he had been seeing other women during that time, I'd take that as a strong message that he didn't love me. He is calling you names that you do not deserve, he is putting you down and it just seems to me that he does not take this relationship very seriously.

Is this really what you want? Are you happy being treated like this? If I were you, I would call it a day as it seems that he is too cowardly to do so, and I would find yourself someone who deserves you.

Agree with Rhubarb - texts aside, the disrespect he's shown you and the names he's called you in his reaction seem like pretty good grounds to chuck him out without any further reason.

Good luck.

Definitely very dodgy. I think you just know in your heart of hearts when someone is being unfaithful, even if they're not having a full-blown affair.

So sorry you are having to go through this.

Even if you believe everything he tells you. How can a man who is supposed to be your life partner have 3 or more 'close' friends that he has never mentioned to you before?

Even if they were male friends, even if dh was a eunuch, I would be highly worried if 3 friends close enough to merit late night texts suddenly 'happened' without any mention beforehand.

Looks like now you have to decide for yourself how much you are prepared to accept. Sorry for you.