I've posted a few times on here about my dh's affair that I discovered 3 months ago. He has been unable to tear himself away from her. I found out (after 3 weeks) that he was messaging her again within an hour of us agreeing to try and make our marriage work. He broke it off but was back in touch 1 week later. I found out about this 2 weeks later after suspecting something was going on. I couldn't find any actual proof, it was just a gut feeling that something wasn't right so I asked him outright and he admitted it. I made it perfectly clear that we were finished if he did it again.
Please don't flame me for putting up with his behaviour so far. I have 2 disabled dc under 10 and the eldest has severe mental health problems. He has been suicidal for the past year and I've been trying to hold the family together as I was terrified it would push ds1 over the edge. Unfortunately the whole situation has left me feeling like a hollow shell. I'm extremely depressed, have regular panic attacks and my anxiety and stress levels are sky high.
Anyway, I've had my suspicions again for a few weeks. I asked him outright yesterday and he got very defensive and denied everything. I haven't been able to find any actual proof until today. OW tends to post a lot online and I've managed to find a few private places where she posts. This afternoon she has posted how her and dh have been in tears to each other on the phone because I have suspicions and they will have to put things on hold for a bit. It's the final straw for me and I'm going to LTB. I know it's got to be done but I'm terrified...