How can I keep my relationship together + evil MIL

[IWantToMakeUsWork]

I need some quick help. I just want give a short version.

Me and Oh been together 5 years 1DC. I use to get along with his family really well then had DC and MIL turned horrible, controlling, interfering, attention seeking and plain nasty. DP is completely blind to his family having any faults and for the last 6m I've had no contact with them. This caused huge huge problems and tonight in 45min were sitting down to decide if we can make it or work or were over.

I love him. I want us to work but I know I'm going to have to do something to "get along" with his mother. She hates me and the feel is there but he believes its me that should make all the effort because that's his mum. How can I do this?

Please don't say LTB I'm not ready to give up on what was a good relationship.

Buy Toxic Parents, or the Inlaws version.

No matter WHAT you do, she's going to find fault with it.

You can't win.

He has to back his wife and family. It's that simple.

Or she wins and he ends up a MacDad. Every Other Weekend, paying maintenance.

for us to work you need to get along with my mother - how about - for us to work she has to get along with me? You hold the cards here OP - you are the mother and I don't think any court will allow 50/50 access for such a young child - especially if that access is not to the father but to the MIL.
Grandparents have no rights to see a GC, does she know this? If you split up than it's whatever is in the child's interests, not the grandparents. SHe could lose all contact with your dd other than when your (ex)dp sees her.
This thread sounds familiar - is your MIL the one who owns your home, who runs the Firm your dp works for and who thought she shuold be the main carer of your child so you could go back to work (for her?) That MIL also was borderline abusive - letting dd get hungry and cry herself out, because she 'liked to see her cry' Apols if this is not you.

None of this matters now but thank you. He ended it today and I feel broken

Oh i am so sorry he did this.

Have you got your family around to support you?

Yeh my mum has been great. I've just started a different thread. My head is so messed up

I'm not surprised. In the long term you will see it is for the best, a man who doesn't put his wife and children first (the very people he has CHOSEN to be with for his life) just isn't worthy of you.

But for now, take it an hour at a time and use all the support you can

So sorry OP

I'm so sorry. Sadly, he is still mummy's boy, and he was never going to put you first or stand up for you.

In the long run, you will have a happier life this way, but I know that doesn't help much now.

Holding your hand virtually. Keep your chin up, be strong.

What a pathetic, weak mummy's boy.
Good sodding bloody fucking riddance.

I am so sorry. I think he will live to regret this, fwiw.

I think he's done this to manipulate you.

Call his bluff.

Accept it, don't you dare beg him to take you back.

'I understand you've chosen your mother over your family, I understand that you've doen this through fear. I'm not afraid of your mother, and I won't give up hope that you'll see that our marriage is important, that we are important. I'll listen if you ever want to talk'