Is friendship possible after its all over?

[Madamemyway]

I was in a relationship for 15 months that ended quite painfully a couple of weeks ago. We spent most of August together and then he decided he couldn't give any long term commitment to me and my dcs so I said that's it then, too old to be strung along like that!
Feeling very sad about it as was first time in ages that I had had someone to share the parenting with and feel very let down by him being such a wankbadger! He is now saying he wants to be friends but I have serious doubts about this being possible ( having been so let down by him) It would be interesting to hear peoples views on this and if in general friendships can develop out of romantic relationships or not?

It's possible, but it takes a lot of time to heal. I am friendly with an ex (and his long term partner) but it took a while to get to that point and there was a long period where we couldn't be in the same room.

Also, we had and have mutual friends. If that wasn't the case, I doubt either of us would've stayed in contact long enough to make the effort.

'Being friends' only works if the relationship dwindled away and shrivelled up through lack of interest from both parties, I think. Where the declaration of overness was unilateral, it's unfair of the departing person to ask for friendship, when their ex wanted 'the full deal' - a constant reminder of having been tried & found wanting, somehow. You need time to recover from your hurt and disappointment - he'll have to manage without your friendship.

No, I think not. Not in the circumstances you describe

A long term relationship, where there was still a lot of respect and shared parenting perhaps ?

Not with this guy though, he sounds like a bit of a knob and who needs a knob as a friend ?. They are ten a fucking penny.

If you've been together a long time and the relationship has died a natural death - yes.

After just 15 months there isn't much shared life or experiences - what would you get out of a friendship?

Not right now, no.

The only ex I was friends with right away was someone I had to break up with as I was leaving the country. We both knew it was coming and were fine with it.

Otherwise I did become friends with a couple other exes but only a couple years down the line. You have to be really thoroughly over them.

He says he wants to be friends. Who cares what he wants??? Do what you want. Do you want to have to pretend to only have friendly feelings for someone who broke your heart? Probably not. Tell him 'maybe someday' and concentrate on your new life without him.