I've ruined my relationship - very depressed

[misssounsure]

I've been with an amazing person for the past 5 years and we have a child together. This man has been so good in every way apart from a few faults he has (don't we all).

Unfortunately my whole life I've had low self esteem and confidence issues etc. On top of this I've suffered depression my whole life.

I've basically sabotaged my relationship by being controlling and just generally difficult to live with (irritable etc.)

Now my oh is about to move out I've realised what I'm losing (an amazing person who supports me financially and always loved me up until the point I totally sabotaged our relationship). I'll now be a single mum struggling for money

I feel as though I'm in shock at the moment and can't believe I ruined such a great thing.

Why is he leaving and where is he going?

He's leaving because our relationship is making him ill. We aren't getting on. He's only moving half an hour away and will still be here for me and our child.

Do you think he would consider couples counselling if you can explain to him how you're feeling? for you and hope he will give you a second chance as you obviously want the relationship to work. As you have a child together there is more to fight for than just your relationship.

Is he moving back in with patents or friends?

Sorry parents

with friends

You've provided no details about how your low esteem and depression manifest themselves. I could guess but there's no good substitute for facts. Have to ask (and may appear mean) but if you're self-aware enough to realize how your issues negatively impact your relationship, why have you not learned to curb their excesses prior to this crisis point? Similarly, has your DH made an effort to understand why you might be 'difficult' more often than he'd like? If you're aware that you need to change and can't do it by yourself and talking to friends n family, ask your GP to make you an appointment with a shrink. There's no shame in it.

Sounds like Relate might be able to help in this situation - if he's prepared to attend with you. If you have such low self esteem too I would suggest you have some help to sort that out too.

I think the two of you need to talk and decide if there is anyway you can move forward as a couple and then (if there is a chance) you work together on rebuilding the relationship. I wish you well.

there is a lot at stake here - 5 years, dc - can you not convince him into even trying a session with Relate as Xenadog suggests?

You seem to be taking all the blame...can you give more information including about your DPs recent behaviour?