Advice please I think sisters boyfriend is married

[wecantallbeperfect]

Title says it all really. My sister who lives quite a way from me, told me she had been seeing someone for seventeen months.
During this time they haven't gone out in public together, he comes to her house for four hours on a Saturday night when she has to set an alarm on her phone so he can leave exactly on time.
He never parks his car near her house and told her the one time she sat in it (because it was his new car) he had to completely vac it out.
She has never met any of his friends or family. It was his 40th birthday party this weekend, she wasn't invited.
My first reaction was he is married!
I know he's married but they are separated and he lives with his parents.
She says he has promised her the world and she needs more proof to end it.
Please ladies words of wisdom, she's very fragile at the moment with a serious health problem and says her life is a mess.

Oh god, who needs to know he is married!

Isn't the fact he's not her boyfriend, sees her for 4 hours a week and treats her like shit is enough?

Her serious mental health issue should be the focus here - she's hardly going to get well while involved with rent-a-twat.

Even if he wasn't married, would you continue a relationship with someone who didn't invite you to their 40th birthday party?? And never introduced you to friends or family? The bigger problem here may be your sister's lack of self-worth that she would settle for this. She sounds like she needs a lot of support, poor woman.

x posted, laurie!

I don't mean to sound cruel, but your sister must be the most naive woman on earth! Of course he is married. She has all the proof she needs really, and she needs to get some self respect.

I would be doing a bit of digging though and showing her the proof myself. Do you know where he works?

And a situation where you are a secret and are only seen in private on his terms is NOT a relationship. She is not in a relationship with this man.

Both my mother and I have tried to tell her this at the weekend. I feel like I want to bang her head against a wall! When she was filling me in on the details I kept repeating 'he's living with his wife' over and over.
He response is that he must be very sure of himself then because I am his friend on FB. However she's not allowed to post on his FB.
Yes I do think her self worth is low and staying with this person is not helping her.

Not allowed to post on Facebook?? By whom?? and why? If she wants to test his availability she could try putting a lovey message on his wall and see what happens. That should bring things to the boil nicely.

Your poor sister. She is lucky to have you and your DM looking out for her. Could you have words with her BF privately? Warn him off perhaps?