Being seen as an OW, when not.

[FloatingBy]

Im sorry, this might be a little disjointed. I'm not sure what advice I'm looking for, I think I just need some outside perspective.

I'm in a tentative start of a possible relationship, with a man who I get on very well with. However, He is recently out of a very long term relationship and people have already made OW comments about me. It couldn't be further from the truth, but it worries me that it is possible that is what people will think and what it looks like. I'm not sure if that would cause problems in the relationship.

People close to us think we're a very good match, and that he's done the right thing by leaving. I've been told by his family the relationship was unhealthy, she was a serial cheat and controlling. I didn't know them as a couple, I barely knew him, so I only have bits other people have said to go on.

We're not jumping into anything, we both have dc to consider, as well as bad relationships to leave behind. I'm worried about the effect it might have on the dc if rumours go round.

Keep it quiet if you want to avoid gossip.

If she was a serial cheat the I wouldn't worry about OW gossip.

It's nobody's business but your own.

Did you start any of your relationship prior to you both leaving your previous relationships? Sometimes I think people say that it is OK if they haven't had sex until leaving, but I think the emotional contact counts too. What I am trying to say is do people have any cause for calling you the other woman? Had you started to get close before he split?

If she is a serial cheat then it is a bit hypocritical for people to comment. Do you have this information from a reliable source?

If the period between him leaving and getting together with you is that short, are you sure he is ready for a relationship? Don't end up a casualty if his head is messed up by her cheating.

what worcester says. Why is he rushing into a new relationship? Why isn't he sitting quietly and absorbing the lessons of his hurt etc?

I think that's why I've posted, I'm trying to understand. None of the relationship started before things had finished, nothing emotional, no conversations that could be taken the wrong way. It was all very standard new friendship.

He's said that he'd already come to terms with her cheating, having caught her in the act years ago, had given her chances to work things out, but has proof of more than several other times she'd been unfaithful. So much so, he'd given up and was only staying for the dc. She had a lot to drink one night and told him explicitly what she'd been doing with someone recently, which is what prompted him to leave.

I've heard information from him, family and friends I take everything with a pinch of salt as I've been hurt like everyone before, so I'm generally cautious. From the amount of people I've spoken to and over heard the story is pretty much the same.

You say it is "a tentative start of a possible relationship" so just enjoy his company and be kind to each other. Nobody is suggesting you are signing up to twenty years of wedlock or a shared mortgage are they? You could both go into this as a healing bit of fun and just appreciate what you have. It is probably going to be a rebound thing for you both, but who knows how it will turn out?
(It maybe his wife cheated because he was a lousy husband and she was lonely and unappreciated, or he might have been a victim of a narcissist. At this stage it doesnt matter). Keep an eye out for red flags and don't rush things and it will all become clear.