Long backstory. Left ex four years ago with DD, then 18 months. Went to a refuge due to emotional and some physical abuse.
I'm residential parent, he has quite a lot of contact. He has been dragging me through the courts again this year, claiming I blocked contact. I didn't. He's now self-representing as his legal aid solicitor refused to act for him any more, telling the judge he was "unreasonable and unrealistic". The court has temporarily suspended his overnight contact due to unsuitable accommodation and concerns of him inappropriately disciplining dd.
He has a history of making false accusations about me - telling SS I neglected her, that I pushed her down the stairs. Telling the police I'd disappeared with her. All investigated, never anything there. Then last night, towards the end of his contact with her, I was told she was in hospital. Allowed to visit her briefly under police escort (not as bad as it sounds, a nice young police officer just out of earshot in case we started a punch-up in a children's ward). DD not apparently sick or hurt, but he has clearly made some allegations that are under investigation. Don't know what they are. DD had a major tantrum on the street a few days ago and I had to hold her tight to prevent her ending up under a car. She said at the time I was "strangling" her when in fact I was being very careful not to hurt her, so I reckon it's to do with that. She's not normally prone to tantrums, just over-exhausted that particular day.
On past form, his allegations tend to be rapidly dismissed, so I'm hopeful that it will be okay. Of course the terror lurks underneath (suppose I broke a rib while trying to stop her falling in the road? But she was fine afterwards! Calmed down and we had a pleasant evening, tucked up in bed reading a story).
But I hate being this Jeremy Kyle story. And it's been years - more than four years since I left him and many thousands of pounds in court (needless to say, with him on legal aid and never contributing towards dd). He actually seems to be getting worse instead of better. We're always characterized as "both making allegations against the other", but how do I get out of it? Stop reporting the (true) concerns raised by dd? But then they don't get looked at, and it's not like he'll respond by stopping telling lies about me. I don't know to what extent he believes them - he has this way of making what he wants to be true into the "truth". I don't know if there's a mental health aspect.
Apologies for epic post, but I'm sitting at work just waiting to hear and I needed to get it out. I used to post as NicknameTaken in case this is ringing any bells with people. x-posted in Lone Parents.