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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

don't know what to do

6 replies

totallydone · 08/09/2013 21:15

name changed but regular poster..
Tonight l am shattered and numb. DC3 has just called me a fucking bitch and a psycho. She went off on a rant because l asked her to tidy her room which to be honest is a health hazard. I asked for her iphone and she refused to give it to me. There is such venom in her words. I know it sounds bad but not too bad but she was screaming at the top of her lungs l am sure the whole neighbourhood heard her,
I guess she has been spoiled and l have been bending over backwards to help her get a place in college/part time job and voluntary work.
She has done nothing to help herself, l run after her with lifts in the car--have paid for over 30 driving lessons and she still refuses to go out practicing.
Her BD who is home from university for the weekend is horrified at the way she has spoken to me and her DF.
I have washed my hands of her. I asked her to leave and she said l would have to find her a house, she wants to leave college as it is my fault she picked the wrong course, my fault she is putting on weight etc.
I am broken, l can't look at her or talk to her. This has been going on for some months but tonight for me is the last straw.

Oh and she is 18.
I feel so low.

OP posts:
beachyhead · 08/09/2013 21:27

Oh hugs to you....have you taken a look at the teen pages and Maryz thread. There are lots of very wise mums of teens there

allibaba · 08/09/2013 21:31

totally didn't want to leave you unanswered. I'm about 15 years off this stage yet so someone who knows about teenagers will come along.

But I remember the night my dad told me he couldn't keep me in the house anymore if I upset my DM once more. We had a terrible time when.I was 18 mainly because I never understood or cared about my actions and their effect on others.

Needless to say I grew out of it, grew up and DM and I are very close now. Sorry I can't offer anymore than that other than a hand hold.

Fairenuff · 08/09/2013 21:40

You need to stop doing things for her and let her grow up. Stop cooking for her and doing her washing and certainly don't give her lifts. No more driving lessons, do not offer to take her out to practice.

If she shouts at you walk away. If she becomes more aggressive tell her you will phone the police.

She is young but she has to learn sometime. Better now whilst she is still under your roof.

Fairenuff · 08/09/2013 21:42

You need to stop doing things for her and let her grow up. Stop cooking for her and doing her washing and certainly don't give her lifts. No more driving lessons, do not offer to take her out to practice.

If she shouts at you walk away. If she becomes more aggressive tell her you will phone the police.

She is young but she has to learn sometime. Better now whilst she is still under your roof.

Fairenuff · 08/09/2013 21:43

Sorry, don't know why that posted twice

Maryz · 08/09/2013 21:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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