Sister in law gone very cool with me. Should I ask why?

[onlytheone]

Feeling increasingly down. Have been excellent friends with SIL who has been a great help and has loved our 2.3 years old daughter. Have always bought thank you presents for babysitting and have invited her back for lunch and the rest of her family. She has always immediately returned my phone calls but all this has now stopped for some reason. We have been away for two separate weeks recently and over the past month she has always got my brother to phone me in the evening if have left a message at 9.30 in the morning. Dropped a b'day present in on Saturday for brother and she virtually ignored myself and my daughter for half an hour. I was almost in tears at being treated so cooly. She even ignored my daughter who usually gets so much fuss made of her and it was embarrassing seeing her try to give this present to someone. I need to find the guts to ask her what I seem to have done to upset her. This sounds so childish but I hate confrontation and being made to feel as though I have done something wrong! Any advice how to handle this one.

Yes ask her, or speak to your brother.

I'd be inclined to ask your brother, if you're on good terms with him.

I would ask her or your brother as its a shame to let such a good friendship go down the drain.

Perhaps you haven't done anything - maybe she is just not feeling herself...?

Can you think of anything that might have caused this - can you remember the last time things were good and what might have happened then / just afterwards. People sometimes get upset over the things you wouldn't think of.....

do your brother and Sil have any children? if not is it possible that they're struggling to conceive perhaps and that she's finding it hard to be with you/your dd because she's not getting pregnant? just a theory :)

Ask your brother,or e-mail her,put a note throught the door. Just say I hope you ok and have I done anything to upset you.

have to say thought the same as wannabe, maybe cant conceive struggling to or may be your one wants children and the other doesnt???

onlytheone this sort of thing has happened to me too in the past and i've been so frightened of confrontation that i've allowed the friendship to end/change/cool off rather than try to do something about it. i really regret that now. you're going to have to take a deep breath and take the lead; don't see it as a confrontation but a chance to have a chat & clear the air. Visualise yourself having this chat and you staying calm and friendly and it having a good outcome. I find now that the best approach is just to say "X, have I done something to upset you at all, you haven't seemed yourself recently?" and see what comes of that. good luck, it's a bit gut-churning, i know, but honestly - the sooner you just do it the sooner it'll be ironed out one way or another.