i dont want sex anymore please help!

[bananaicecream]

i am a regular poster changed name etc

this is a bit embarrasing, for the first time ever i have no sexdrive, i think its due to the pill i am on but i am not sure

i like the idea of having sex but when it comes to it i just cant be bothered to make the effort i still find dp attractive i just dont want sex. i dont even like kissing him anymore. i feel horrible i am scared this means i dont love him. anymore when he kisses me and touches me i feel something but it is not like it used to be. the less i want sex the more i can see it hurts his feelings and he goes a bit overboard with hugging me and i feel smoothered. even when we have sex mostly i just lie there wishing it was over.
i am finding this very scary and upsetting, i desperately want to want sex i miss it. does this sound like a problem with me or just the pill mucking up my hormones. please help!

ive had two children, youngest nearly four and my sex drive hasnt been the same since. by the time ive done all the day to day things with the kids, got them to bed and relaxed for 5 minutes, all i feel like doing is crashing in bed and sleeping until they wake the next morning for it all to start again.when i have got the energy, im not in the mood and im wondering if its to do with my hormoes on the pill? i was on the injection but bled all the time and still had no sex drive.i cant really come off the pill but poor fiance is beginning to think ive gone off him. i haven't, its just the actual sex i dont seem to have energy for anymore.cuddles will do fine!! you're not alone!!

the Pill really does affect it.. my sex drive increased about 10 times when I came off it. Worth a try, definitely..

I know how you all feel- I am now at the stage where like someone else said they try to stage an early bedtime or stay downstairs cleaning the bloody kitchen just to avoid that dreadful impasse in bed where you know he is working out whether it's worth trying...it just pisses me off that I'm the evil party in this all the time.. sometimes I feel like it, but certainly not as often as he does, and certainly not at bloody 11pm at night when I've been on the go since 6am with two small kids who knacker me out and I have been doing the washing and ironing etc etc ad nauseam since they went to bed... I have no sexual impulse at night AT ALL anymore- the only thing I can do to make up for it is to be rampant on the occasional morning I can be bothered while the kids are happily in front of "Backyardigans" or some such...
I guess we need to talk about it, but I worry about his side of things...

I know how you all feel- I am now at the stage where like someone else said they try to stage an early bedtime or stay downstairs cleaning the bloody kitchen just to avoid that dreadful impasse in bed where you know he is working out whether it's worth trying...it just pisses me off that I'm the evil party in this all the time.. sometimes I feel like it, but certainly not as often as he does, and certainly not at bloody 11pm at night when I've been on the go since 6am with two small kids who knacker me out and I have been doing the washing and ironing etc etc ad nauseam since they went to bed... I have no sexual impulse at night AT ALL anymore- the only thing I can do to make up for it is to be rampant on the occasional morning I can be bothered while the kids are happily in front of "Backyardigans" or some such...
I guess we need to talk about it, but I worry about his side of things...

Yummummy - mornings are best for me too. Night time is for falling into an exhausted coma . He's not good at mornings but he's realised it's the best he's going to get...

Pleased to see this thread (in a way) so I know I'm not alone! Feel bad for DH but I'm just so not interested. I think it has something to do with DD's traumatic birth (third degree tear and other complications) but haven't examined my psyche enough to be certain. Feel guilty, though - like I 'ought' to want to. DH is being v nice about it. Why do I even say he's being 'nice' about it, like I should apologise?

Joelallie - like your point about why can't it just be a phase and why is it always seen as a problem that needs fixing... and totally agree about getting away, even for a few hours. I had to go away for work overnight a couple of months back and was dreading it - and in the end it was heavenly. A lovely room and bathroom all to myself... and LOTS OF SLEEP .