Unknown

[ladypippins]

I left my husband for 3 days after 2years of verbal and sometimes physical abuse. I went back after he promised to change - he said he didn't know I was so unhappy.

He has been very different since (it's been 3months). This morning he said he felt I wasn't committed and I said its going to take time after the last 2years.

He thinks I should move on and I said I didn't understand what had made him able to change. He said 'because you told me to stop'.

I've been reflecting on this, and honestly I feel annoyed/upset about it. While he was hurting me I told him it was unreasonable and suddenly he can 'stop'. I don't get it - do any of you?

He didn't realise you were 'so unhappy' . WTF, did he think a bit of verbal and/or physical abuse was the way to make people happy?

Presumably given his sudden turn of character, you never told him to stop his abusive behaviour in the past?

It sounds like he's reeling you back in, once you've recommitted, the abuse will probably start again.

Sorry, that was harsh.

What happened that prompted you to leave him three months ago? Was that the first time you had managed to leave him due to his domestic violence?

Although you ended up going back, something inside you is acknowledging that his behaviour isn't right and you don't deserve to be abused by him.

You are worth much more than being somebodies punch bag.

He realised he'd pushed you too far and you might really get away. From now on the abuse is likely to be more subtle, at least until he is confident that the lid is firmly nailed back on the box.

Minx, had enough when pulled out the ignition key from the car and pressed it into my tummy when I interrupted a recording he was making of our son. I left without telling him, so it came as quite a shock.

What I get is: he doesn't think that being physically or verbally abusive is wrong, he could have stopped himself at any time but he thought he could get away with it, he hasn't changed, he isn't taking responsibility for his past behaviour and he will likely get worse once you're comfortable/worn down again.