5 months after split and I still feel like I am the one losing everythin

[Mollymom]

He moved in with Ow. I am dealing wth selling the house, losing my percieved future,effectively losing his family and now mutual friends are adding ow on their fb. It just feels like another loss. I know its childish-its only fb but it still hurts. Am fed up of thinking I have turned a corner only to get another slap in the face from sonewhere. Am deactivating my account btw.

Oh well shall I reply then ? Or do you mean FB ?

Anyway its not childish to feel like that at all its sheer hell going through this stuff. I remember reading stuff about he would get his come uppance , karma etc. Well all I can say is I hope karma has a long memory because 4 years on he doesnt seem to be having any problems

Mind you nor do I

It takes a long time I'm afraid

How awful for you
I find it hard to think of these people as your friends if that's how they are behaving. Good for you for deactivating. It's a pile of pish anyway, you'll be missing nothing and if he did it with her, he will do it to her.

Mollymom, I assume it's FB you're deactivating. I kicked my STBXH out about 3 months ago, but believe me, I am still going through a world of pain. Losing your home and the future you assume was going to happen, the way it affects your friends, family, everything is in turmoil right now. De-activating from FB is probably a good idea. Try and be kind right now, there is no timetable for this process (and it is a long one).

*kind to yourself (!)

Yes I meant fb :-)
God its so draining feels like taking 2 steps back

mollymum
I'm 6 months seperated but without an OW and I have (so far) kept our house but I too struggle with feelings of loss.

Wise people tell me that it is natural and part of the grieving process...we thought we were getting married forever and our hopes and dreams about our futures as couples is dead.

Im hoping I will be in a much happier place in another 6 months

I defriended my stbxh on facebook and once he starts dating and she is included in his family updates I will defriend them too

Atm I am determined to be happy again and live a good life just to spite him and hoping that eventually I will be too happy to care what is going on in his lfe. Here's hoping!

Good luck!

Thank you Goodenuff. Am hoping to be happy again too. I suppose I am finding oyt who my real friends are whch is good in the long run

Sorry you're going through this Mollymom.

My STBXH moved in with his OW this time last year, leaving me and three children (4 mths, 2 and 5). I too had to deal with the house sale and looking after the kids while he just enjoyed pubbing and clubbing in London with the OW. I had to give up my career because I couldn't manage the commute as a single mum and am now on benefits, renting and am alone with three children. He on the other hand has just got a flashy new job.

Yep I'm a bit miffed about what I've lost but I have also gained. I no longer have to put up with a selfish, arrogant, emotionally abusive arse.

It will take time, and it does hurt when friends and family welcome with open arms the woman who helped wreck your life. But I promise you it will get easier.

X

Thank you mcb.

At McB!! What an absolute shit. Well with his flashy new job I hope he's giving you plenty maintenance to supplement your new SAHM status. There is such a shitstorm of men being awful on here just now. Who the actual fuck do they think they are?

No experience of this but as an outsider.. I see it as you're free now.. Free to meet a decent kind man... But more importantly be happy by yourself and lovely children.

You will be glad to not live in that house.. Make your next home cosy and your own.

Facebook can be a horrible and lonely thing... You're right to get it closed. Try and do something nice for yourself... Outfit or hairdo.. I totally agree the best revenge is being happy. Be determined!!!!

Mollymum I could have written your post. Ex walked out two months ago for OW, he has been a complete shit ever since. I am a SAHM as my youngest DD has a life- limiting illness, we agreed this, I gave up my much loved teaching career and now he has done this. I am terrified for the future, and like you it seems everything has been taken away.

The hurt knocks me for six some days, not just what he has done, but none of his family have contacted me, not one. I had a good relationship with them, we used to go and stay most school holidays as they lived by the beach and our daughters liked to see them. We were there over last half term in June, all was fine. Two weeks later their son walked out and it is like I never existed, they have welcomed this OW with open arms, she has been to stay with them (with him) and I just do not know how to deal with the hurt.

We had been together ten years, but never got round to getting married and I am so pleased now that we didn't.

The house is in my name from before I met him thankfully, although I do not know how I will manage to keep it. I also don't know if he would have a claim on it, he obviously supported us as a family when I gave up my job to care for my ill daughter four years ago and he tells me that he will now be entitled to some of the house but I think it's just bullying.

I had just started to do some supply teaching before he left so I am looking for more but where I live people stay in one teaching job and do not seem to move!

Sorry, I'm rambling, but he wants the girls for the weekend for the first time today, although he has seen them over the summer holidays and the thought of him and this OW playing happy families with my girls is breaking my heart.

He is a lying, cheating, selfish bastard and I am well rid of the stupid shit, but my god it hurts!

Thank you, I feel better for letting that out!

Hey Mollymom. It's not childish - or if it is then you are in good company.

It's (OMG!) 8 years since ExH and I split. I love my life - DH, children etc etc and now have only 1 FB friend who is FB friends with him but I still do a little teeth grit if ever she posts a status saying she had a lovely day with ExH, OW and their bizarrely named DD. First year is the hardest - losts of first but in my case the second year was fab and I hope it is for you too.

Tudorose I also have felt so let down by hisfamily. They invited ow to exps brothers wedding (that was atthe end of august) when he had been moved out only 1 week. His parents have dd for me 1 day a wek after school and am thinking of stopping that cos I hate going and having to be pleasant. I hadnt stopped that yet as exp doesnt see his parents often so I felt a bit sorry for them-he would be unlikey to take dd to see them often.That made me feel sorry for them but its wearing off now :-(

I am hauling my jaw off the floor at how absolutely vile some of the men described here are. But I am full of admiration for the women they've abandoned, how they're coping with the ghastly fallout. But HOW do these jokes of 'men' sleep at night? OK, I know, two sides to every story (as blessed Jeremy K. keeps saying) but really, the behaviour of many of these creeps is just despicable.

Brave ladies, I salute you.

Fackinell - actually I had to take him to the CSA as he short paid the agreed maintenance for several months and paid nothing at all in May. He said he was skint because he was moving house (obviously it had nothing whatsoever to do with the mini break to Barcelona that he took the OW on)!