I have another thread running about an annoying habit my husband has. I apologise for the multiple threads, but I have multiple problems.
The past two weeks have been a struggle as I am inundated with family events. Ridiculous amounts of pressure and dinner parties.
My home life was very unstable as a child and I made a very calculated plan to make sure that when I left I would never have to go back. I made sure that I would be independent enough to never have to keep in contact with my parents. During the last phase of my plan to become 'free' I fell in love.
Anyway, I finished my studies, got married and started work in London alongside my DH.
Meanwhile at home, my younger sisters became the targets of the sustained abuse my parents had put me through; however theirs was less worse than the things they had done to me (Mother would regularly go to my after school job to enquire if my boss/co workers were paying me for the 'regular' sex I provided all of them because I wasn't paying her rent). Or she would take days off of work to come to my school and follow me from class to class to tell each and every one of my teachers (before/after class) that I regularly beat her. This caused massive bullying to me and really affected my credibility. My father would do other things, like throwing garbage and rotten food in my bedroom/on my bed on a regular basis. Complain to neighbours and people at our place of worship about me and my behaviour. These are just some of the examples of what my parents did on a consistent and constant basis. My father also is a serial cheater, so when he would disappear or cheat, mother would up the ante on her behaviour towards me. This is when the physical violence would happen, but it wasn't regularly enough to affect me enough to completely destroy me.
So when I left, I left for good. My little sisters however couldn't handle this type of behaviour and because they were much younger than me, I feared that they would be subjected to the same so I shared my plan with them, and instead of waiting to move countries to be with me after uni, I helped them get into Universities in London to be close to me. In this time I have been working very very hard to improve their self confidence which is still pretty horrible.
Sister1 has just recently got engaged, graduated from Uni and there are a few cultural events surrounding this week in her life. Due to the nature of our culture (and our decision to stick with it) we are all having to play happy families. So our parents were brought over for the week so no one would get too suspicious. Father decided to cancel at the last minute because his girlfriend of the month wanted to spend time with him, but he didn't tell our mother...she found out when she called him to make sure he got to the airport and he told her he was going to be 'busy'. His cheating has never been a secret within the family. Just outside it. When Mother found out, she became quite drunk at the graduation reception and told anyone who would listen that her husband was a terrorist.
When mother arrived, the nastiness has began in my house, but I put my foot down and told her she needed to follow some rules. She was not to be rude to me, my husband or my son. So she has tried, but yesterday she became quite aggressive and violent and we didn't engage and walked away (which is my usual method of dealing with her)...Today however she has run away.
It wouldn't be a problem, but tonight is another engagement type ceremony and her stupid presence is required. My father is already somewhere else on a break with his mistress, mother has run away which leaves my DH and I to fill in for them; Sister1's husbands family are of the same culture and are getting terribly offended that our parents have decided to avoid such a large and serious event. Sister1 is beside herself with embarrassment and is at a temple with her fiancee for a blessing. Sister2 is hiding because she doesn't know what to do.
I really just don't know what to do either and figured I would post because this is all just too crazy and embarrassing to tell anyone in rl. What in the world does anyone GAIN from treating other people this badly?