Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Intimacy after having a baby

9 replies

Toughtimes30 · 03/09/2013 22:10

Evening.

I'm hoping for a bit of advice please. My partner and I have been together for three years, we have a 7 month old baby. I love them both more than anything in the world but... he just doesn't seem interested sexually anymore :( I know it's hard to find time and we're much more tired these days but I feel so unwanted in the bedroom, everything else is perfect.

I've lost all my baby weight, I take good care of my appearance and look after him at home as he's out working long hours. I've tried sexy undies, weekends away and spur of the moment sex but he always comes up with an excuse, usually that he's tired. I don't want to be in a passionless relationship and I don't want to leave because everything else is just as it should be, had anyone else had a similar experience and if so how did you get back to normal please?

OP posts:
Original poster
Toughtimes30 · 03/09/2013 22:31

I should add I'm also suffering from pnd

OP posts:
valiumredhead · 03/09/2013 22:44

Have you actually asked him straight out what's wrong?

beaglesaresweet · 03/09/2013 22:52

sounds like he's genuinely knackered -a baby is an huge upheaval (does he sleep at night?) plus he works long hours.

In some cases it's just a matter of giving it more time, like a year after the birth.

valiumredhead · 03/09/2013 22:57

There was certainly no action on our house 7 months post baby, neither of us felt like it!

bestsonever · 03/09/2013 23:48

Empathise with the pressures a new baby brings and tell your DP what you have told us -that you don't want to be in a passionless relationship -so you need to work on that together. No LTB's yet, early days but also don't allow this to fester and build up resentment.

Original poster
Toughtimes30 · 04/09/2013 07:45

Sorry ladies I fell asleep last night! I've asked a few times and he has literally just said he's shattered, our lg only wakes once if at all around 4am for a bottle. Maybe I'm expecting too much too soon, I know I greatly underestimated how hard parenthood is Confused she's only just gone into her own room so at least we have a little privacy now

OP posts:
Original poster
Toughtimes30 · 04/09/2013 07:45

Thanks for the advice Smile

OP posts:
TheWomanWhoMisplacedHerHusband · 04/09/2013 07:56

Sounds like something else is up if baby only wakes once at night and she's in her own room.

How often are you intimate? Never?

Original poster
Toughtimes30 · 04/09/2013 08:16

On average once every two/three weeks, we waited till 6 weeks after birth

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread