I would like to get a private investigator

[conway]

I have posted before about my hubbie. In Jan I discovered some condoms in his pocket , he said they were old ones of ours and at the time I believed him.
However I still don't trust him and since then Have been checking his phone and blackberry. There have been a few messages after his many drunken nights out from Various girls. Could be quite inocent as mostly asking him out for lunch and there may be other people there. He works in London and does a lot of networking.
The latest one he asked to take out for dinner or a bottle of wine next week while he is in Chicago on business. Is this just a friend or something else? I would like to get a decective but how much for the USA.
We have not been getting on and he spends a lot of time either ignoring me or been critical.
I would like to divorce him but need a push so finding out he has been un -faithful would be the push I need.

You dont need a private eye, you need a divorce lawyer.

Save yourself a fortune, cut out the middle man and dump the sleazy husband

You don't need any more "push" or reason than that

Don't waste your money. Your relationship is up shit creek and you lost the paddle a while ago. Save your pennies to put towards a good lawyer.

Well unless he has friends you know about in Chicago it doesn't sound good. But I agree with everyone else, don't waste you money on a private detective. The trust and respect has gone. You don't love him and want to divorce him.

Use the time he is away in Chicago getting yourself sorted out, getting together financial documents etc and then tell him not to come home. The fact that you are very unhappy is enough.

I saw a divorce lawyer in February but haven't got the courage to do anything. I am so worried about the kids and they love their dad so much , I feel that I am been selfish.
I also worry that If I present him with a divorce petition he will be awful to live with until it goes through and I have no where else to go.

All the more reason to bite the bullet and get the ball rolling

You cannot use "he would be too awful to me if we split" as a reason to stay with someone. Think about what you are actually saying with that statement, love

I think the usual expectation would be to be not living with him when you serve the petition, which is why your next step would be to tell him not to come back and sort his own living arrangements. You've nowhere to go? You're not the one that goes anywhere, he does. Not sure you are thinking to clearly about how this works? Perhaps seek advice, then act. Also stand up for yourself. Just because you have decided the end point, does not mean you roll over from here on. He's at least as, and probably more responsible for creating this situation and he has an obligation to provide for you and the DC's (in the same lifestyle if he earns well enough). As he travels such a lot anyway, may still see as much of the DC's as ever - maybe even more so. Ditch the guilt, you are not responsible.