Will he stop watching porn?

[CurseOfCurves89]

I'm new to this so sorry if I'm doing it all wrong.

Me and my boyfriend of nearly 3 years seem to have always had issues. When we started going out he had just come out of a long distance relationship, about a year ago I found out he'd been contacting her again, and had been drunkenly skyping her asking to see her naked etc. I had always been wary of her even though it was long distance. He assured me it was just a big mistake, he was so sorry etc. I have him another chance and we've been alright, but I'm still always a bit worried it'll happen again.
At the weekend there he was drunk and we ended up arguing about it, and I grabbed his phone to see what he'd been up to and I found lots of porn sites bookmarked and whatnot. I didn't get to look any further but I was shocked because he'd always sworn he never watched it. I'd already been worried because our sex life had dropped to about once a week at most and it was always him telling me he was too tired etc, but we're only 24. I've had serious body issues since I was only 5, suffering anorexia only to have a baby (not with him) and go back to 12 stone.
I've been really upset about it and he's assured me its not a rejection on me, that he'd never compare me to them but I can't help feel that he does, and I know I can't compete. I'm just too fat and ugly for that. He's said he would stop watching (i didnt ask) but I feel like I cant trust him because he's lied to me so often before. I love him do much, but I don't know if I can believe him or how to stop feeling like this.
Can anyone offer me any advice please? Has anyone else's other half actually stopped or just hid it more
Thanks

You can't trust him. He's a liar. And he won't stop.

You need to learn to love yourself and find someone who treats you better. You're better on your own than with someone who makes you feel like shit.

I'm sorry, I know how hard it is. But it's worth it xx

It is hard :( he's the one I want, I've never loved anyone as much as him, so it's gonna hurt me just as much if I leave him

It won't. It'll hurt a lot and it'll take time to get over but that's very different from shackling yourself to a life of misery.

Promise.

I don't know what to do :( I'm sorry for being such a moan x

Watching porn is perfectly normal. Maybe he just likes to touch himself occasionally in private. Everyone I know watches it from time to time.

Your still very young, loads of time to find someone better. You come accross as feeling awfull about yourself and I cant help feeling if this was a positive relationship this would not be the case. He has already tried to cheat on you (even over skype its still cheating), has turned down sex with you for porn (been there myself and it is the worst headfuck and selfesteem destroyer) I doubt it will get any better, unless you have the feeling he really regrets it and is desperate to win you back which is not the feeling I am getting from your posts.

whome2; thanks for your input, do you work for a PR company by any chance?
No porn is not normal, or ok, espicially if one partner objects to it. And there are many many reasons to object to it.

Porn doesn't have to be acceptable in a relationship Op, but its the drunken ex chat that would have been the deal breaker for me.

I am almost the same age as you OP and have been with DH since our late teens, DH admitted he had watched porn in the past but felt a lot of "shame" about it which eroded its eroticness. As an adult, he despises the industry, the way it creeps into everyday society and places unrealistic expectations upon people about sexual behavior and our perceptions of beauty.

People can and do have a change of heart, people once waving the flag for porn can become the same people who campaign against it, I was one of these people - didn't see the harm? All men like it don't they? Hell women love it too! I wanted to appear "cool" with it and when i did start to question the morality behind it all my viewpoint swung the other way and I have been lucky enough to have a partner who respects my feelings, listens to my views and had his own experience to share which compounded our individual feelings into a relationship where we both agree it isn't acceptable in our home and will challenge the preconceptions people have about the industry.

You don't have to share my view, I respect that others find porn exciting and a tool to enhance their own lovemaking - it just isn't my view.

I am not old, overweight or jealous. Nor do i accept my partner obviously has a stealth wank to porn every time I leave the house, that's because we have trust,respect and shared views.

Only you and your partner can set your own rules for your relationship, but personally my love I couldn't and wouldn't accept a partner who considered his masturbation material more important than the the commitment we made to each other and if my husband had experienced body confidence issues, I would be right beside him telling him and showing him how beautiful he is- inside and out. I would certainly not be making the problem worse with selfish, deceptive behavior.

He lies
He makes you feel inadequate.
His wants come 1st

Listen to him, he is telling you who he is.
He will always be number 1

Sorry for the long post, but your OP made me incredibly (sad)
Great username too - Cute is what we aim for Thanks for the blast from the past x

Thanks for your help.
I sometimes think that he does really regret it, he cried a lot when he thought I was dumping him, he's begged me to give him another chance and he said he wouldn't watch it anymore. The problem is that I just don't know whether I can believe him, or if he's just manipulating me. When we're happy together it's amazing, it's just that when he hurts me he doesn't do it half arsed lol.
I felt this bad about myself before I met him, due to bullying when I was young then emotionally abusive relationships when I grew up.
Eurgh. I don't know. I just wish I could learn to trust him, or at least know whether I can trust my own instincts or not.
Thanks again :)