Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Want to have the strength to go

20 replies

Sadmummy13 · 03/09/2013 16:35

That's it really, I have a baby under 1 and two step kids and its all too much. Just had a row over him having the baby for a few hours (he never has) after coming back from a fishing trip with his son. I have no one to have the baby and have not had a break since he was born. Sick of the arguments resulting in me being called every name under the sun and the fact I don't work getting thrown in my face. I have worked since I was 14 (now in my mid thirtys) and only stopped to have the baby. :( we have nearly bought a house as well

OP posts:
Original poster
Sadmummy13 · 03/09/2013 16:38

I'm always the one left in tears, not wanting to split, he has no emotion. I use to have lots of friends and was very social. He never liked that, got very jealous. Now my friends have gone and he is my only friend and that gets on his nerves, says I'm too needy.

OP posts:
Original poster
Sadmummy13 · 03/09/2013 16:43

We've had terrible arguments in the past, one resulting in me jumping out the window and breaking my back. We drank a bit too much back then. He's hit me, I've hit him. He's never really been affectionate. I struggle with his kids. I so want to have a good relationship with them but he undermined and belittles me in front of them. I don't really need anyone to reply to any of this.... It just helps to type.

OP posts:
Viking1 · 03/09/2013 17:08

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
Sadmummy13 · 03/09/2013 17:08

Well, best go and tidy the toys away. Again. Always me. Never anyone else unless asked

OP posts:
Original poster
Sadmummy13 · 03/09/2013 17:10

Thanks Viking, I'm in tears now. Thought no one was out there. I have spoken to some family but it only damages his relationship with them and I don't want that :(

OP posts:
Original poster
Sadmummy13 · 03/09/2013 17:17

I did have friends, but whenever I went out with them, he would get jealous, ask if I'd been speaking to men so I just stopped seeing then to save the rows.

OP posts:
Original poster
Sadmummy13 · 03/09/2013 17:21

He does love our son, he just works really hard and it's hard to find the time he says. All I want is a few hours to myself, I could straighten my hair then so he will stop taking the piss out of it!

OP posts:
temporarilyjerry · 03/09/2013 17:26

Don't let the fact that he doesn't like it stop you from talking to your family. You need support in rl to help you to decide on the kind of future you want for yourself and your DC.

temporarilyjerry · 03/09/2013 17:27

And I agree with Viking. Please phone WA. They will give you help and support.

sisterofmercy · 03/09/2013 17:42

We hear you. Find a women's refuge. Run. He's not good enough.

AttilaTheMeerkat · 03/09/2013 17:44

sadmummy13,

You need to call Womens Aid asap on 0808 2000 247.

They will help you get away from this dangerous man. He will destroy you and your children if you were to stay with him. He does not know the meaning of the word love; such damaged men regard their victims as mere possessions to use and abuse as they see fit.

He could well turn your son into a carbon copy of him as well.

Original poster
Sadmummy13 · 03/09/2013 18:01

Thank you ladies. I'm very low at the moment. I definitely need to talk in rl. Thanks for the number x

OP posts:
Viking1 · 03/09/2013 18:14

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Hissy · 03/09/2013 21:23

You're not alone love.

Sadly there are many, many women who have lived as you do.

One by one they've found the strength, but yes, it takes time.

You can leave anytime you like, but we understand how hard it is for you to take that step.

Call WA, keep posting here, get some legal advice as to where you stand financially, and know that none of this is any of your fault.

It's his. All of it.

In time you will see that.

Know one thing. Staying will see the situation only ever get worse.

Leaving may look like the hardest thing on earth, but it's really not. Not when you've taken that first step.

With each subsequent step away from this horror, your life will get better.

Your DC will get stronger, and you will live a life so happy you have to pinch yourself!

We can and will support you for as long as it takes for you to leave. You will get there.

stopthebusiwanttogetoff · 03/09/2013 21:27

hand holding, listen to the good advice on here.

lilithtime · 03/09/2013 21:43

You are being abused OP, you don't have to live like this. Keep reaching out, call WA, get support. It is SO much easier when you leave, you will be happy again, just keep taking small steps for now, you've already taken a big one posting here.

Original poster
Sadmummy13 · 03/09/2013 22:01

Thanks again, it's just so scary at the moment and I wish I could say to you all, I can do it. But where the hell do I go? My boy is so difficult at the moment, I can't do it all alone. It's a massive step to take but a may have to x

OP posts:
Viking1 · 03/09/2013 22:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

EhricLovesTeamQhuay · 03/09/2013 22:29

This isn't a life sweetheart :(
Please call women's aid tomorrow. You need support to get out xx

Hissy · 04/09/2013 06:43

I know hundreds of women that have left abuse.

Not one of them EVER regrets leaving.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread