How do I leave him?

[sophiahughes00]

My partner and I have been together over 5 years and havethree children. I met him after I moved back home after a break up (rebound?) fell pregnant very quickly. He's 15 years older than me. hes always been quite controlling, and hes always liked to have a drink. he used to be quite violent and certainly can bully me mentally. im constantly apologising, cut off from friends and spend my time in the house with my children cleaning. hes quite possesive and im not allowed a job. he always says things like "who would want you now" etc and I feel terrible about myself I kept my figure and constantly diet whilst he knocks me down, hes fab with the childreb, but I'm fed up. my children are my life and ive tried to stay for them but I cant do it anymore, I just dont know where to start. I have no job no money...... very very unhappy :(

I'm sorry to hear that and I'm sorry I'm not able to offer any practical advice. What I can tell you is that you are none of the horrible things he has told you you are!! I hope you can find some things you still like about yourself to focus on and prove to yourself that he is wrong. Do you have any family near by that could help?

If hes a great dad I can see the appeal of staying for the kids but; seeing you treated this way is not a good role model for them and will also have psychological affects on them that are not positive, also they can still see their dad just as much if you split, if you both make the effort. Have you tried to explain to him that you will leave if he carries on like this, its very unlikely to acheive much but at least you will have tried.

sent you a pm

I keep telling him, but hes just so good at manipulating me, I want to keep it amicable for the children and I'd never stop him seeing them. im terrified he'd use the children as a weapon. my mum has said she'd help me when I finally split, but she wont help whilst im still with him, shes never been a big fan, as she can see what he does to me.

thank you x

So sorry for your situation. Your children deserve a happy mummy. From what you say about him, it's unlikely to be an amicable split but you will have the support of your mum.
Do what you know is right x

So sorry for your situation. Your children deserve a happy mummy. From what you say about him, it's unlikely to be an amicable split but you will have the support of your mum.
Do what you know is right x

Depending on the specifics of your circumstances you could consider Womens Aid. They can offer emotional and practical help inc. getting you a place to live if he won't leave.

I've been in touch with a few housing associations this afternoon and im going to the jobcentre to see where I stand. I need to make sure ive got a roof to put over my babies' heads before I leave. xx

Go for it! It won't be easy but you deserve a life free of fear and criticism. What you're doing Is so brave and I Wish you and your babies all the luck in the world xxx

thats so lovely thank you xx my babies are my life xx