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Original poster

How to become more organised???

15 replies

Zelda · 19/06/2006 15:27

I have two girls one of 2 and a half one of almost one. My Husband is a bit of saint in the domestiscity department and gets on with whatever needs doing around the house and I feel very fortunate in this respect. My struggle is that I am a creative person rather than someone who has systems for everything which drives my Husband potty. I do everything required to run a house and bring up the girls but I find it all utterly overwhelming and feel a constant failure because it doen't come naturally (I'm certain I'm not alone by the way). My husband strives to run an efficient tidy house and I constantly feel that I get in the way of this goal, because I do for instance accumulate piles of paper work about the place rather than file it away. Trouble is that I can have done a million jobs in the day (not to mention sorted out my children) and he always notices whatever I haven't done - it's soul destroying. I waver between thinking well this is me I ca only do my best and wondering about trying to find courses on developing my organisational skills. I'd appreciate any thoughts

OP posts:
Caligula · 19/06/2006 15:32

Bloody awful, but it works

\link{http://www.flylady.com/\flylady}

Enid · 19/06/2006 15:34

tell him to stop being so critical Wink

also do nothing until you see his car arrive home from work, then immediately launch into some filing/cooking/tidying

works for me Grin

006 · 19/06/2006 15:39

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
Zelda · 19/06/2006 15:43

Flylady?

OP posts:
GeorginaA · 19/06/2006 15:43

Flylady is good because it gets you into habits of little and often - far easier to work on autopilot because it's a habit than do what I did before, which was procrastinate until the job was so big it was horrid.

trinityrhino · 19/06/2006 15:44

FLYLADY ROCKS Smile

warthog · 19/06/2006 15:54

Well I'm the opposite - I'm pretty organised, my dh leaves stuff wherever he goes, leaves things to the last minute etc. I just accept that that's the way he is. We need all types in this world - I think your dh should stop being so critical. You could try pointing out some of the things you've done well every time he complains about something. This is what my dh used to do, and I began to realise that everything doesn't have to be done my way and in my time. We're much happier now!

Lists really help me get things done. When I'm feeling overwhelmed, I just write a list of everything that needs to get done, and cross them off as I go along. Very satisfying.

Could you confine your piles of paperwork to one room? Or put it all in a big pile in a cupboard and keep adding to it where he can't see? Then at least you get to be creatively unorganised and he doesn't have to deal with it.

Caligula · 19/06/2006 15:59

And buy lots of baskets and dump everything in them.

It won't be any more organised, but it will look pretty and as if it is organised.

Wintersun · 19/06/2006 22:58

Get yourself a file, put some dividers in it and whenever you get anything that needs filing, just punch some holes in and shove it in there.
Its amazing how easy it is once you get into the habit (or made to do it in my case due to dh being a neat freak when it comes to paperwork).It doesn't even need to be in any order - just out of sight.
I've also found a weekly timetable and lists help for all the other stuff.
And I'm sure you are definitely not a failure.

grumpyfrumpy · 19/06/2006 23:26

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Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Hattie05 · 19/06/2006 23:33

Bless you!

I think you should show your dh your post and it may help him realise how hard you are trying.

We don't all have the same priorities, and so he shouldn't expect yours to match his.

I used to be a cleanaholic pre-children, but now i have mastered the art of 'cheating!' Basically, flit round the house with a duster and a hoover picking up piles of crap along the way, then sort the one big pile of crap back into their homes and hey presto i have a tidy house!Smile.

Sorting the pile of crap doesn't have to be done perfectly, so long as things get at least into the doorway of each room they belong in. And then as you go in each room you can put these things back in their homes.

For me - paperwork gets piled on a disguised shelf under my desk, when it gets so big it starts sliding over, i get round to filing stuff away.
Grin.

The best tip i have is give your children a wet wipe each and ask them to polish for you. Then put your feet up and have a cupper!

harrisey · 19/06/2006 23:34

Zelda 0 you sound like me. I just cant get into housework (and flylady is NOT for me, and more than Gina Ford was - its just not my thing).
I remind myself a lot that I am a SAH M - MUM not housewife. Being tidy is much more important for my dh than for me and so we have agreed that he will tidy (and he is a domestic GOD!) - I spend my time at home playing and interacting with my children. I do try - have set myself goals - eg get washing machine on every day, tidy kitchen etc .....but the children will always come first, and dh has grown to accept this and appreciate what I am doing for them. Mine are 6, 4 and 2.

please agree what you can do with your dh - when mine knew I was at least making an effort to keep things organised, even if I didnt manage it, things between us were much beter sa he knew I was making the effort even if a lot of days it wasnt just exactly what he would have hoped for!

Isyhan · 20/06/2006 18:41

Sounds like your self-esteem is low as you are comparing yourself unfavourably to your husband. I bet with a little help from him! Be proud of yourself and your creativity! Each persopn has their own strengths. Learning about putting things in baskets is not going to help!

Original poster
Zelda · 20/06/2006 23:38

Thanks everyone - there's some really useful suggestions there, lots made me smile and I no longer feel so alone. I think creating the illusion of tidiness (i.e. a smart box rather than a pile of messy papers on view) is going to be the start for me and then who knows?? On a deeper level I think if I found a way of satisfying my creative self I'd have more energy for jobs around the house.

OP posts:
MadamePlatypus · 21/06/2006 14:16

I think one of your problems might be that it is very difficult to see how much work has been done when you are clearing up after children. I could clean my house 10 times a day, but it only takes DS half an hour to create that just burgled vibe. My only tip is to make sure that, as far as possible, you finish one job before going onto the next so that atleast you can point to atleast a few things that have been finished.

Flylady is good - I even have the book. It can become a little bit obsessive though with all the stuff about buying special shoes

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