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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Hoping we will be ok, but its hard:(

7 replies

mrsericnorthmaniwish · 02/09/2013 08:27

Hello, I have posted on here a lot recently, helps to write it down and your advice is always helpful.
I left h couple months ago, despite me trying nothing changed, I filed for divorce, he did not like my grounds(unreasonable behaviour)and spent the next few weeks throwing many hurtful and spiteful insults at me - he was really horrible, including telling me I should be at the council offices telling them I am homeless so they can put dcs and i in a b&b:( finally he pushed me over in front of dcs(not the first time he hurt me)I couldn't take anymore and rang police:( What I am struggling with is how he can behave as if nothing has happened, he refuses to accept any responsibility over this, he blames me entirely and when I briefly see him to drop and collect dcs he is all normal and chatty while I say all that's needed and go, I can't behave as if nothing has happened, this is something he has always done rather than face up to things. When dcs come home, during the next few days they will tell me things he has said to them, this has included that Father Christmas won't find them, mummy is mean for leaving cause daddy is all alone, we might be homeless, mummy hasn't got much money so we won't have anything. I deal with all this by just reassuring them, it is wrong the things he is saying/suggesting to them but I can't stop it, I am as afraid of the future as they are, we don't have a home we are staying with relatives with a view of renting somewhere with housing allowance when I can find somewhere:( this is hard for me too, I did not make this decision lightly but I know why I made it and how rubbish things had got but it doesn't mean I am ok about it all, this is not the way things should have been, far from it:( he can't/won't see any of it and is playing the part of the poor victim very well. I have good and bad days, I have today been awake since 3am worrying about our future and hoping dcs will be ok:( thanks for reading

OP posts:
Emptychairs · 02/09/2013 09:13

You are a brave and sensible woman.
I also lived with close relatives with ds when I split from dh1. Lost a lot of weight because I couldn't eat, felt I was in a trance most of the time. But I knew I had to leave and in my heart knew it was best for ds too.
Wishing you well, it's a hard time, xx

mrsericnorthmaniwish · 02/09/2013 09:34

Thank you for that-thats summed up how I feel:( I shall take comfort though because you have got there x

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mrsericnorthmaniwish · 02/09/2013 14:08

I also th

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mrsericnorthmaniwish · 02/09/2013 14:11

I also think he knows really I have done us both a favour , we couldn't have carried on as was. Since we left he has got off his backside and actually spending time with dcs. I think it's the way he is blaming me entirely,taking no responsibility for anything and seems determined to punish me and make me suffer that I f

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mrsericnorthmaniwish · 02/09/2013 14:11

F

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mrsericnorthmaniwish · 02/09/2013 14:11

Find hard-stupid phone!!! I am just afraid of the future and my m

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mrsericnorthmaniwish · 02/09/2013 14:12

Mind is on overdrive:( sorry for numerous posts, thanks for reading

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