not in love. dont talk. trial seperation??.....

[CarlyP]

hi,

maybe someoen can help.

me and h have been married 3yrs. got 2 boys aged 1 and 2. both work in london, i do four days, he does 5 days 8-6.

we dont talk. dont go out. dont communicate.

latest row was voer his dad as he never makes an effort to see the boys, and im fed up with when he does come he expects it to be on his terms.

i am outspoken and will voice an opinion. though never to hurt someone and where his family are concerned i never even voice my opinion to them.

my fgamily are open and honest. his you cant have an opinion incase it upsets someone.

im fed up with this and so is he.

i suggested relate a few months ago but he said no, then we said we must get out together on our own more, that never happens.

so i think a trial seperation is in order.

any ideas?......

thanks

cx

well, it didnt go well. we talked a little bit about the issues, and he said that because i told him the truth that hurt. then moved onto me having opinions and y do i need too! i mean, WTF?....

ened on me dropping him back home and i went out on my own to clear my head. he said he is putting the house on the mkt today. i wont loose any sleep over that TBH. and he slept in the spare room.

so we will c what today brings.

cx

he said he said about selling the house to 'scare' me. wasnt bothered, jsut said ok and i sent him a lsit fo estate agents this morning! which then called his bluff.

outcome form today is that he will learn how to deal with things differently and the world isnt perfect and nor is anyone in it, including himself.

opinions he was talknig about was the fact that i have them!

we have talked and he had counselling when we first got together.

his dad was an alchohlic and mum ran off with dads best mate and they all lived with the dad. even now no-one speaks their mind.

im hopnig for the sake of my boys that this was just him trying to establish his 'power' and like a toddler, push the boundaries (got promotion at work and thinks he is 'the man' their if u c what i mean) so maybe just spilling over fomr work, and ive said in no uncertain terms that i won't be told how to behave and what to say and do by anyone.

i think thats the end of it (for now at least). we will see how he 'gets on with things' the nxt few days.....

thanks for replying to me

cxxxxxxxx

carlyp, sorry you are going through this on top of your loss and possible hysterectomy. how long has this sadness and upset been going on in the relationship? You have a lot of things happening in your life with health, mc, etc and trying to keep your relationship on track whilst working long hours, its bound to be stressful and effect a relationship.

I know of people who when they have hit a sticky patch their partner has gone to stay in a b&b or friends/family home for just a couple of days to clear their head. I know I have done this in the past too for a night/day and for me it did work. Its not a separation just some space to gather thoughts? Sometimes when we are annoying each other being in the same space doesn't help get things right in our minds and we can wind each other up more.

I hope things calm down and you can work things out if thats what you would like.

Take Care
(firstnikki)

So was the food any good LOL

food was lush!!

thanks FN. went for my consultant appt yesterday. going to have another laparosopy, with diatherny and hysterscopic endometrial ablation. over night in hosp. they burn the endometriosis and fill your wuterus with a chemical that heats to 87deg which burns the lining away. no more babiews for me. wont be able to carry any.

she wanted to do a hysto but due to the obstetric cholestasis my liver would fail with any hormones.

me and andy are ok.

cx

oh bless you Carlyp thinking of you right now and hope that the procedures go well. {{{{{{{{HUGE HUGS TO YOU}}}}}}}} xxxxxx

Hope you are coping with all of this its alot to take on . Hope you and DH are muddling through and that he is being supportive .Thinking of you .

How you feeling Carlyp?