we've decided to split and im sinking into a deep depression

[misssounsure]

My partner and I have been together 5 years and have an 18 month old. To cut a v.long story short he was an amazing partner in every way but unfortunately I never felt as though he was "the one" in the beginning.

However I suffer from bouts of depression and I despite having an incling he wasn't the one for me I stayed in the relationship as he is such a great person/partner and we had so many great times. I fell preg and our child was born.

I've been suffering horrendous depression pretty much on and off my whole life but since birth of child I've also suffered anxiety and stress. I finally went to gp and have been on AD's(citalopram) for a week and a half. I felt a bit better after just a few days and the tearfulness ended.

Since our child has been born our relationship as gone down hill. We finally decided to split 2weeks ago. Yest he wanted to discusses him moving out and finances and it really hit home to me that we really are finally splitting.

I'm currently lying in bed feeling horrendously depressed and stessed. I feel so so down and stressed I feel like I will never be happy. Im so worried I will regret our split as although I've never felt he's my soul mate etc he is such a wonderful man. I hope I don't end up eaten up with regret (if the depression doesn't eat me up first)

I've got to go back to gp next week and I'm on waiting list for cbt counselling for my depression. I just feel so so down. Anyone else been in my situation and ended up happy one day?

You are doing all the right things with respect to combating your depression - have you had cbt before to deal with previous depression? Many people have found cbt really helpful in breaking away from destructive thought and behaviour patterns that drag them into depression.

Aside from that, how does your dp feel about splitting - is the relationship quite antagonistic or still amicable? I just wonder if this is the best time to split while you are still feeling so ill.

If you are still on good terms with each other perhaps it would be better not to make any drastic moves until you have started with the cbt and can get some benefit from it and look at the whole situation more clearly.

If a relationship isn't working and things are not right you really are better out of it in the long term even if things seem bleak in the short term. You don't say why you decided to split - did you think of trying some couple counseling first? If he is not right for you (even if he is a great person) then you will be missing the chance of being with someone who is if you stay with him and you cannot get that time back again.

You are doing the right thing by going to the doctor and I'm sure the CBT counseling will help you look at things in a different way. For the moment enjoy being on your own, focus on yourself, your health and your child and remember that feelings are temporary and often an illusion so try not to get too down about your situation and be kind to yourself during a difficult time :)

Thanks so much for your advice. The reason we've splitnow is because we just aren't getting along. He told me weeks ago he felt like I'm trying to isolate him from his family and friends. Its sort of true in a way because unfortunately from day 1 when I met him I didn't like theway most of his friends were (oh is from Essex and all his friends are sexist chauvinists). His mum is lovely but unfortunately his dad continually cracks sexist jokes, makes sexist comments. He and my oh role their eyes when my oh's mum talks etc... It's constant jokey sexism. The thing is they do really love her, care for her etc in every way its just the way they all are unfortunately.... All sexist! She laughs along. Anyway my oh isnt too bad but when he's around family n friends he acts just like them with the constant "jokes" putting women down.

In every other way he's amazing....caring kind generous, an amazing dad etc etc. I think deep down I know we need to split but its still so hard