Yet another affair

[mumdaughter29]

Well i am sure you will be sick of me but i need some advice. 3 weeks ago i threw my husband out after discovering his 5 week affair with a married woman and he is now living with his parents. In the past few days i have noticed activity on his e-mail account. To cut it short i am only after printing out another e-mail from another married woman ' I love you baby, can you talk?' I want to confront him about this and let him know that i know everything now. My 3 teenage children are yet again disgusted and cannot believe he has continued another affair for the past year under our noses. Please advise me as i want to wipe that smarmy look off his face. Any advice?

Another PM received here too. Mystified why OP felt the need to send a PM .
Gutted to see everybody else has had one, I was beginning to think I was 'special'

Herdyherdwick>>>> Bitterness is a hard pill to swallow and no you aren't 'special'

He has carried out the affair under your nose not the children 's, therefore this has absolutely nothing to do with them frankly. Their relationship with their father is entirely separate to the one you have with him. What you are doing is seeking support in the wrong place.

Very inappropriate.

I think you're lashing out at us because it feels 'safe', and might help vent some of your frustration and anger.

All people are saying is that you are not thinking about your children's best interests. The fact that their father has behaved badly towards them doesn't mean that it will benefit them to be drawn even further into the fray.

Jeez both you and your DH sound like toxic parents. Grow up the both of you and sort your own mess out before you land your kids with expensive therapy bills in later life

OP , this is your family. You do what is right for you. I hope that together you will all be ok and get through this. I don't consider 18 and 16 yr old to be children, they are young adults, actually old enough to be married themselves.

No, i do not want him back

Then I presume you are already in the process of a divorce, and this new revelation isn't really here nor there. (Although I must guiltily admit I liked the earlier idea of emailing all women involved and politely letting them know that they need to get a sexual health check up).

They may be young adults but they shouldn't be involved in the ins and outs of their fathers adultery. It is bad for them.

Op he is clearly a liar through and through, you'll drive yourself demented trying to get to the bottom of his lies. Don't try.

Oh for goodness sake you can tell a poster her actions are inadvisable without twisting the kinife and reminding her that her husband's discarded her, not the children. Why does anyone feel the need to be that cruel?

Yes, it was a terrible idea to involve young adults in this, but show me a person who's dealing with a break-up like this who's always behaved impeccably and without anger.

OP if you're still reading this, just add the latest discovery to the pot for the solicitor dealing with your divorce. I don't imagine you're in the right frame of mind now to let these other women know about the existence of eachother, so I'd sit on that information until you are, if ever. It's their responsibility to protect their sexual health when having sex with this excuse for a man- not yours. Unlike people in an exclusive relationship, both women knew he was married and therefore not monogamous. Their look-out and not yours.

Just because their father behaved appallingly, doesn't mean that you can't take the higher ground.
Your twins are still 15 - it's just simply not appropriate for you to let them get dragged into the sordid details of the affair via reading his comms with OW. I don't understand how you can't see that

Forget about trying to 'wipe the smarmy look off his face'. Focus on getting rid of him and rebuilding yourself a happy life without a philanderinng alcoholic instead.

You have to slow down OP Stop posting loads of threads and PM-ing people. Stop involving the DC in everything.

Make a plan.

See a solicitor to discuss divorce and finances. Find out if you'll have to move house, for example.

Please breathe, and get yourself organised

Well said, Kali

as a child who experienced this, do not involve your kids in this!! totally inappropriate!! x

If you threw him out 3 weeks ago why are you still snooping? What he does now is no business of yours.

Dreadful of you to involve the children though.

Yep PM!

newbie looks like most of us got a PM. I must admit when I read mine I had no idea what thread it was related to at first