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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Does your husband have female facebook friends?

55 replies

wherewouldyoulive · 01/09/2013 00:43

My husband has his tometown female friends and other female friends known through his mates e.g mate's wife or girl friend on his facebook. I have met all of them. The number of his facebook friends are over 100 and it appears married to xxxx on his relationship status. I have seen a male friend of mine who is married also has female friends on facebook. Is this normal? Do you think it's nothing to worry about?

OP posts:
LolaCrayola · 01/09/2013 02:07

Yes he does.
It would be weird if he didn't as almost half the population is female?

LoopyLoopyLoopy · 01/09/2013 02:30

Seriously, you need to find something else to worry about.

LittlePeaPod · 01/09/2013 04:36

DF has lots of female friends on FB even a couple girls he dated before we met he posts on their walls, they post on his and I know they email each other too. Same as I do with my male FB friends. It doesn't bother me because I trust him. If your DH hasn't given you cause to suspect cheating. Why are you bothered? I don't get the point of this post.

MrRected · 01/09/2013 04:55

Eh? OP why wouldn't a DP/DH have female friends on his facebook? I have male friends on mine.

Odd question without context?

SnookyPooky · 01/09/2013 06:14

We both have friends of the opposite sex. I don't know all his friends and he doesn't know all mine. Nothing that either of us worry about. In fact, one of DH and my friends chats with me more than him.

TheFallenNinja · 01/09/2013 06:19

What's this really about then?

JazzAnnNonMouse · 01/09/2013 06:27

Yes of course he does! Just as I have male friends.

I havnt even met all of my husbands fb friends (old school chums etc)

I think you need to look at why you're insecure about this. It's a very normal thing to have/do.

noisytoys · 01/09/2013 06:34

About half the people in the world are female. Of course DH has female friends it would be ridiculous if he didn't. He can't not befriend someone just because they have a vagina Hmm

Bareerah · 01/09/2013 06:42

Everyone's relationship is different. It may not be normal for some people to have friends of the opposite gender based on their own upbringing, cultural reasons, personal history, experiences etc.

Please don't be judgemental by suggesting there's something wrong with the OP just because she asked an innocent and frank question.

Beamae · 01/09/2013 06:43

Facebook is not real. You can be out having drinks with people you know, fleetingly meet a friend of someone there and the next morning have a friend request from them. People collect Facebook friends. Someone's list of Facebook friends is likely to be completely unrelated to anyone they actually have proper relationships with (and I mean relationships not in the romantic sense).

I wouldn't give it a second thought. Keep your relationship based in the real world, not in some fake cyberspace farce.

Chubfuddler · 01/09/2013 06:43

The op has male friends though bareeah so can't be a cultural issue.

Bareerah · 01/09/2013 10:45

Ah, right. I missed that point.

InLoveWithDavidTennant · 01/09/2013 11:11

i really dont understand the issue here Confused

Seaweedy · 01/09/2013 11:17

It means what it says, I imagine (non FB user), that if the post is on the security setting 'Friends or more', that the post is visible to all your FB friends, plus whatever other audience you set it to be visible to, eg. Friends of your friends, anyone tagged in the photo.

Tell me you are not getting your knickers in a knot because you think 'friends or more' means 'lovers'!!! Calm down, woman!

ofmiceandmen · 01/09/2013 11:34

I suspect OP's spidey sense is kicking in.

Before we close her down, give her time to get her 'gut' feeling in tune.

Have you felt he is spending a lot of time on his FaceBook account, is he detaching in some way.

Do we not all remember that first moment we felt something was not right, and it was always something very minor that got our ears pricked up.

If in doubt - ask. Trust does not disappear because you asked a question, jealousy is your minds way or alerting you (within reason)

Are they more attractive? are they more bubbly, are you feeling you need to become more of a couple again.

We often only get to the point of posting when we have explored all other possibilities in our heads. 99.99% of posts always end up being a revealer. Lets hope OP is the 0.01%

IThinkOfHappyWhenIThinkOfYou · 01/09/2013 11:39

Yes, loads, probably more than male friends. They are RL friends. DH has quite typically girly interests so makes friends with women quite easily.

In a typical MN disclaimer way I will go on to say he also likes cars and climbing trees (he is out right now in an exclusively male group climbing trees)

worsestershiresauce · 01/09/2013 11:55

Mine did. It was how I worked out who he was having an affair with. Well that and Linked In. He now doesn't have a FB account.

Having female friends on FB is nothing to worry about. If he is behaving oddly and spending a lot of time on the PC/text then I'd be worried.

StillaNortherner · 01/09/2013 12:03

Yes he does. I'm pretty sure he has a few exes on there aswell. As do I.

AnyFucker · 01/09/2013 14:34

advance search is every respondent's friend here

TobyLerone · 01/09/2013 16:22

Crackers.

Shakey1500 · 01/09/2013 16:32

Yes,dh has female friends on FB as I have male friends. In fact,dh and I aren't even "friends"on FB Grin

lade · 01/09/2013 20:39

Yes. He naturally has more female friends than male. So obviously, that follows through onto facebook and he has more female facebook friends than male.

He socialises with women (sometimes just him and a female).

Having female friends does not mean he is going to be unfaithful. I trust him, and have no problems.

DioneTheDiabolist · 01/09/2013 21:20

OP, how long have you been seeing your counsellor?

HerdyHerdwick · 01/09/2013 21:35

"advance search is every respondent's friend here"

Good call AF. I thought it rang a bell.

johnstones303 · 04/03/2020 16:29

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