I'm leaving dh

[maniclady]

Back story victim I have bipolar 1 when manic I hear voices that tell me to sleep round and I do. That's not all I do I'm aggressive I over spend and I go out all hours. When depressed I spend months in bed and attempt suicide.

Now dh has confessed that every night I am on a episode he wants to commit suicide. I love dh very much and I can't risk him doing that. Plus our dc need at least one stable parent so I am going to leave after our family holiday.

I was a teen mum and gave up my studies to look after dc and I have a young dc who is 20months one with severe sn and a older child with mild sn. Can people advise me please.

I'm not sure, it may be worth posting in the mental health section.

Do you have support through the mental health team that could help advise you?

I'm so sorry you are all going through this.

I'm sure other people will have advice, but I couldn't read and run. This is so sad, you obviously love your family very much, I hope you work something out.

Do you get any support to help you manage your condition?

Xxx

Hi Manic,

I know a few people who have been raised with and without one of their parents with Bi Polar. 

At the end of the day, it all depends. My sisters fiancee hates having a sick mother and is always apologetic about everything regarding her.  Whereas a friend of mine, loves her mother to bits even though her mother has some severe episodes. 

 If you have good support, you could very well make your situation happy and as healthy for everyone else involved.

Hi yes I have a lot of support but dh doesn't as we have gone nc with most of his family and the ones who we are in contact with are not that close to him.

I also have a good family support network who are always there for me. But dh won't turn to either them or his friends so he just bottles it all up.

He won't speak to the Samaritans or his gp I'm at a loss. But I see no way out of this the dc need their father, I think he would be better off without me in the long run.

Is that what your dh would want though? How often are these episodes?

I've been on a episode one one kind or another since January bar one month.

I have also posted in mmental health now on intheredcorners advice.

If you've been having episodes since Jan you need to speak to your shrink and get your meds adjusted. What are you currently taking? I found lamotrigine a saviour although I'm type II.

It is very hard living with someone with such a severe MH issue, however, it sounds like neither of you have the full support you could be entitled to. Is your DH involved in your MH program? Are you having counselling? How about your DH?

I know its lots of questions but it sounds like getting you more stable should be the goal, not you leaving. That way all of you would be happier (btw I know it's hard giving up the highs sometimes but it sounds like you want to)

I've been where your husband is so I will hope to give an honest opinion- no punches held back -

This thread/Post should be about the DC and ensuring you are doing the best for them longer term.

IMPORTANT: work out arrangements with the DC about current and future contact. You really need to find a peaceful solution that is long term, or what you will end up having is a destroyed family. I don't mean broken in the sense of separated or divorced - I mean damaged with no chance of repair and to the DC's detriment.

Basically whilst you are busy fixing yourself (crude sorry) what are the practical things you can put in place to ensure the DC do not suffer and that you continue to work as a team (separate or otherwise) with your current DH.

My ex opted for a leave of absence of sorts and after raising the children single handed she later returned wanting the kids back?! not so much as a recognision of the time in between, basically wanting to just walk back into the old life. Cue court cases, heart ache, loses/wins, tearful exchanges and her further breakdowns and her DM looking after the DC now.

in the end I don't really care about what happened to me or how I felt. Ultimately the only thing that matters are the DC

Sparklekitty shrink says lamotrigine and parietal won't work for me we are trying to stabilise me following pg but as I rapid cycle it's hard. I am currently on 30mg apiprazole 1000mg depakote 100mg sertraline. Thank you for your post I have had therapy for a year and a half in total over the years doing different courses. The meds while they don't make me stable do dull the episodes so I am able to care for the dc.

OfMiceAndMen thank you for your post it's very helpful I really hope all this can be settled amicably and I personally only want what's best for my dc first then my dh second.

Ah I see, didn't realise you were perinatal. I'm rapid cycling too, exhausting.

I'm guessing your therapy etc has worked through trigger points etc. I know this might sound odd but my friend in quite extreme in his bipolar, although not rapid cycling, he has managed to control a great deal of the mood swings with diet and a really high dose (can't buy the high dose in this country) fish oil! I know it sounds odd but he swears by it, I wonder if it's worth looking into for you (think its the fish oil rather than the diet that helps the most).

Have you spoken to your shrink about changing the dosage of your meds at all? I dont know much about those as they were never options for me (would possibly trigger my eating disorder)

I take fish oil I'm on the highest dose pychiatrist will give of the meds Im on. It is exhausting.